I’m a Reverend, but this is as close to a sermon as I’ll get.
In fact, it’s the first one I ever wrote.
I did a wedding once, but I didn’t have to say anything original.
It’s probably why they’re still married.
I do lead the invocations at KNON board meetings,
But that’s because I’m leading the meetings.
If the real Reverend is there, he gets to do it.
He’s better at it than I am.
Bow your heads and pray for the weekend.
I’m Christian by birth, so this is about the Rules I learned.
Buddha has some cool suggestions for living, too.
There are other sets of Rules available.
Ask your local preacher.
It’s interesting to consider that
Old Testament God had Ten Rules
(some about Him, some about people),
and New Testament God had Two
(both about love.)
New Testament God was a good editor, I suppose.
Maybe Old Testament God was being paid by the word.
Mel Brooks said Old Testament God had Fifteen Rules,
But that was to set up a sight gag.
It was pretty funny, actually.
I don’t think Mel Brooks is a theologian.
So, you either have two rules or ten that sum up
Everything you need to know about how to behave.
Assuming you’re Christian, were raised Christian,
Or you borrowed a Bible from a friend.
Yet, nobody told the Governments we elected.
They have thousands of rules.
They make more of them all the time.
None of them ever seem to go away.
Many of the rules are pretty silly, actually.
(There are websites dedicated to silly laws. Google it.)
Maybe we should try just following the Ten,
Instead of inventing even more that people won’t follow.
Even if you don’t believe in Old Testament God.
(Even if you don’t believe in any God. )
They’re pretty easy to remember.
Try to remember the Ten now.
This isn’t a quiz, so don’t worry if you don’t get them all.
Amazingly, none of the Ten are about
health care insurance,
smoking pot or
You would think with all the press they get,
Those topics would have their own section.
Maybe our priorities are screwed up.
(I think gay pot-smokers should be able to marry and pool their insurance.)
If you can’t remember the Ten, just try to remember the Two.
Remember, New Testament God was a good editor.
He was only on Earth thirty-three years, so He had to get to the point.
“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”
“This is the first and greatest commandment. “
“And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”
I guess if you’re an atheist, you can just skip the first rule.
The second one will still work nicely while you’re alive.
Before you go wherever atheists go when they die.
(I hope it’s not Heaven, because that would annoy them.)
It’s interesting quoting the Bible when I may go to Hell.
Even if I am a Reverend.
It’s almost like Linus reciting verses to Charlie Brown in a TV show.
Still, perhaps we should all just be civil to each other.
Love one another.
That’s something new to try.