Alien Abduction

It’s the God’s honest truth.
You can ask my wife, Ruth.
I was abducted.
I flew into space.

I can still barely speak,
And it happened last week.
Up to a spacecraft.
Up in outer space.

I car pooled to my job,
With my dear old friend Rob.
When we saw something
Flash on the roadside.

We both got out to look,
Ended up on a hook,
And a tractor beam
Took us into space.

I felt close to my death,
As I struggled for breath.
I started to pray,
Rob just wet his pants.

The craft was long and wide,
It was shiny inside.
There were aliens
At least three or four.

The boss was a large blob,
Who was poking at Rob.
While a tall female
Kept poking at me.

There was a silver tray,
With bodies on display.
They were the  victims
So, I just played dead.

A woman measured Rob,
Who’s a bit of a slob,
And she handed him 
To one with a knife.

I made myself seem small,
And I’m not really tall.
The boss measured me
And looked very sad.

Said, “He’s eight inches, Bill”
“But I would keep him still.”
Then, I heard Bill say,
“He’s over the side.”

The alien dropped me.
And as I floated free,
I wondered what had
Happened to poor Rob.

I gently floated down.
Finally landed in town.
Then, I didn’t know 
What I should do next.

I went on into work,
But I felt like a jerk.
So I went back home,
And cried in my bed.

So, a lesson hard-won,
To remember, my son.
Don’t always believe 
Everything you see.

While something looks nice,
You must always think twice.
While worms are tasty,
They’re not from the sea.

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