Bug Killer

This is not a poem as much as self-therapy, from watching the great white hunter track down and kill a poor, defenseless housefly.

My wife saw a fly in the house.
She knocked his wings off.
Now, he is a walk.

(I love that joke!)

It was time to relax a bit.
I was lying in my bed one night,
I was trying to go to sleep.
A buzzing gave me quite a fright.

I looked up at the ceiling.
A fly circled around my head.
I really don’t like flies.
But my wife wants him dead.

I try to say “Live and let live.”
My wife says “Live and let die.”
She has her trusty swatter.
My wife will kill this little fly.

She started swinging wildly.
The dog dove under the bed.
They don’t like her swatter.
I pulled the covers over my head.

Next stanza is in Phil Rizzuto’s voice.
Swing! .. and a miss!
Swing! .. and a miss!
Wow! That one’s outta here!

A fly never flies in a straight line.
Unless, propelled by swatter.
In that case, it’s a fast, straight line.
Leading it to the slaughter.

My wife killed a little fly.
I wish that it would fall.
If it hangs on until morning,
I will scrape it off the wall.

NaPoWriMo 2020

A month of poems has gone away.
I think I only missed one day.
I never wrote about my spouse.
Hell, I barely ever left my house.

Please don’t shed another tear.
I’ll be back again next year.
Deadlines make me write each day.
Even when quality goes astray.

Stay six feet apart,
Keep your hands clean.
I want to do this again,
While not in quarantine.

Rocky’s Anniversary

Rocky

Rocky arrived here
Eight years ago today.
He was limping pretty badly,
But still wanted to play.

He was hit by a car.
His back legs were broken apart.
A lady dumped him at our vet.
It was a rocky start.

(He’s actually named Rocky,
Because he was a Chihuahua
That took on a Cadillac.
Adriaaaaan!
)

We were going to foster him,
Until he found his perfect home.
He never made it off the couch,
He wouldn’t leave us alone.

He’s been with us eight long years,
He thinks he runs the house.
He’s killed a couple of snakes so far,
And one quite bloody mouse.

So, here’s to Rocky FosterPup.
He’s our favorite little shrimp.
He’s running all around the yard
Because he never learned to limp.

Crack of Dawn

One last meeting
Before I can go home.
But I’m in India,
So it’s your first meeting.

Video conferencing is the bomb.
Teams can be anywhere,
And still can get together.
The world is one conference room.

It’s 5:30pm in Bangalore.
It’s 2:00pm in Budapest.
It’s 7:00am in Dallas.
We can still all meet.

I’m the one in Dallas.
I haven’t had enough coffee.
There may not be enough coffee.
Time zones are a bitch.

Uninspired

This must be a Monday,
I have nothing clever to say.
Don’t give this a second look.
My mind is but an open book.

I’ve been spending all this time,
Just to find some words to rhyme.
My head is feeling very dense.
The words don’t really make much sense.

Tomorrow is another day.
I’m sure my mind will be OK.
I will have a great work of art.
At least I’ll have another start.

Isolation

Anything you need,
Just use the app.
Don’t open the door,
Leave it on the mat.

To meet your team,
You just use Zoom.
You won’t even be
In the same room.

If you need a friend,
There’s online chat.
If you need a date,
Let’s not talk about that.

Defeat the virus!
Just stay home!
The problem is
We’re all alone.

My Year So Far

February was my 20th Anniversary.
We were going for a cruise.
So, in January, I broke my foot.
Oh, plus my ankle, too.
Cruise canceled.
Well, next year is 21.
That's almost the same.
Staying home. 
Avoiding all others.
Well, it will be over by May.
May, when we visit grandkids.
Wait. What?
Scrap that trip.
We have a Christmas cruise.
Yes, I know about cruises.
I'm not hopeful.
2019 kinda sucked.
2020 said, "Hold my beer."
I'm too old for this.
March, I was out of the splint.
I was out of the cast.
I was into a boot.

So, now I can travel.
It's my 60th birthday.
Time for a road trip.
Wait. What?