For Ripley, a beloved pain in my ass
I wish I had a pair of hands,
So, I could just express my glands.
I’m having some intensive gas,
I need someone to squeeze my ass.
I’ve had my usual daily poo,
But I fear my glands are filled with goo.
It’s time to go and see the vet.
Don’t squeeze too hard, or you’ll get wet.
The vet will never do the job,
Vet techs have to squeeze out the glob.
My butt is clean as a whistle,
Next time, I’ll sit on Mommy’s Bissell.