(If I Seem) Cranky

If I seem a wee bit cranky,
Please do excuse the tone.
It’s not that I’m not caring,
I just have problems of my own.

I just can’t worry about everyone,
Your crap is yours alone.
I’m worried about my own damn life,
And I’m getting in the zone.

I’m sure you have huge issues,
You could describe them on the phone.
I’d just really wish you wouldn’t do so,
Those are problems that you own.

Someday, I’ll pass on good advice.
Thoughts heavier than a stone.
It just won’t be any time real soon,
So please don’t bitch and moan.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

All the dogs go out.
Almost.
One stayed behind.

Ripley.

Some dogs are pointers.
Some are retrievers.
Ripley is a napper.

Mom leads all the dogs out.
Well, the dogs lead Mom out.
Nails on tile clicking.

Dad struggles to awaken.
He’s alone for a moment.
Or is he?

Ripley.

There’s a napper.
He’s still in his crate.
Door’s wide open.

He is not coming out.
Not voluntarily.
Eight AM is much too early.

Ripley looks at Dad.
Ripley is thinking,
“This isn’t the dog you’re looking for.”

Dad starts towards the crate.
“You can go about your business.”
Dad thinks for a minute.

Dad hesitates, confused.
“Move along.”
Dad goes for coffee.

Ripley is a Jedi napper.

Seco Creek

It’s almost always dusty,
Until the day you nearly drown.
And you’re going to lose your fences
When the Seco Creek comes down.

A dry creek bed is empty,
A failure at its task.
But when its name means “Dry”,
Water may be too much to ask.

Yet, the Seco Creek was running
On the night great-grandpa died.
Mourners rode through Sabinal
To come say their good-byes.

It’s almost always dusty,
Until the day you nearly drown.
And you’re going to lose your fences
When the Seco Creek comes down.

When the rains had finally finished
And the water levels sank
A car still needed horses,
Just to get across the bank.

There are fossils in the Seco,
Another ages’ souvenirs.
So there’s always been dry water,
It’s been flooding here for years.

It’s almost always dusty,
Until the day you nearly drown.
And you’re going to lose your fences
When the Seco Creek comes down.

Respect Your Elders

Always respect your elders.
Remember their wisdom is available.
Their experiences can help you.
You can learn from them.

I try to remember this.
I ask my elders questions.
With a reverential tone.

Burning questions, like:
“Why do you have real stock certificates?”
“Are you sure you don’t want a paperless statement?”
“How can too many people friend you on Facebook?”
“You still have AOL?”

Perhaps I’m not being respectful enough,
Since I usually don’t get a happy answer.
I’m sorry. I just wondered.
I will rephrase the question.

For my children, before you ask,
AOL is to Facebook as Pong is to Mortal Kombat.
If you’ve never heard of Pong, Google it.
Or, ask your history teacher.
If you’ve never heard of AOL, look in grandpa’s attic.
There’s probably a few dozen of their CDs up there.

Conversation

Your drink is dry,
The plates are gone,
You haven’t seen a waiter
In oh so very long.

The lights start flashing,
There’s nobody else around.
The waitress has her shirt untucked,
You can’t hear another sound.

Maybe you should check your watch.
Time passes in a wink.
If all the staff looks annoyed,
It’s later than you think.

Tardy Slip

I’m not going to let it bother me.
So, we’re just a little late.
It doesn’t really matter much.
I’m still feeling great.

No, I’m not.
I lied a bit back there.
We’re running very late again,
And I’m pulling out my hair.

I wish it didn’t bother me.
Just wandering in whenever.
It’s just it makes me crazy,
Being late forever.

Is it really hard to be on time?
I’ve done it now for years,
But some are just incapable,
They’re causing all my tears.

I guess there’s just one way out,
Besides just going out alone.
Just lie about the starting time,
And hurry out from home.

The only other thing to do,
When you find you’re really stressed,
Is to set all your clocks to Central time,
Even though you’re in the West.

Discussion

Telling me I’m wrong,
Doesn’t make you right.
No matter how many times you tell me.

The louder you talk,
The harder it is to hear.
Mainly, because I’m ignoring you.

So, calm down.
Let’s start over again.
Just remember, I’m right.
(Just kidding.)

Walking Blues

For Warren and Rocky

I’m so sad and lonely,
I don’t know what to do.
I’m walking ’round in circles,
‘Cause my puppy stole my shoe.

I’m going barefoot now,
It’s almost more than I can handle.
I’ve stubbed my toes all over,
‘Cause a Chihuahua has my sandal.

Up and down I’m fallin’,
It’s the only way I feel.
Up and down all over,
‘Cause I only have one heel.

I’m limpin’ back to Memphis.
I’m so sad and blue.
I’m limpin’ back to Memphis,
‘Cause I only have one shoe.