Dire Straits 

The Straits of Gibraltar
Should be quite a sight.
Unless, of course,
You cross them at night.

The lights of Europe
Off your port side in the night,
Africa is to your starboard.
What most people call “right”.

I suppose seeing the lights
Of two continents is romantic,
But I think I would prefer more,
After crossing the Atlantic.

Wondering why Cruise Critic
Is not set all aflame
With furious passengers
Who love to complain.

Irish Pirate

I am an Irish Pirate.
I drink Guinness every night.
I don’t have a pirate schooner,
So I never have to fight.

It’s hard to be a pirate,
When you can’t go off to sea.
So, I’m stuck here in the pub,
With just a pint or three.

I guess to be a pirate,
I need a large tattoo.
It’s just I don’t like needles,
So I never joined the crew.

I’m going to be a pirate.
I’m going to sail to sea.
I’m going to do it someday.
Just you wait and see.

In the meantime,
Another pint, please.


I thought I saw a dolphin,
Out swimming in the sea.
It could have been a mermaid,
They look the same to me.
(I need my glasses.)

I’m on the second watch,
I’m sitting on my balcony.
I’m on my third Mojito,
So it looks pretty clear to me.
(Rum is tasty.)

I was born to be a sailor,
To explore the Seven Seas.
I just need a decent cabin,
And another Mojito, please.
(Watching the ocean is thirsty work.)

This may not be the life,
Of the brave sailors of old times.
They made a living sailing,
Among their many crimes.

I’m too late to be a pirate,
As Jimmy Buffett said.
Yet, staring at the ocean
Will get inside your head.
(Can you get me another Mojito?)