Proctology Final Exam

You have accomplished much to date.
You’ve passed all the exams,
You were never late.

There remains one final test.
It’s been called unfair by some,
But it’s really for the best.

Before you perform your first exam,
One important detail remains.
So your patients don’t scram.

Quickly now! We shall not linger.
We merely check the length and width.
Please present your index finger.

Tick Tick Tick

April now is underway.
The Spring is sprung.
Bugs are out to play.

Alas, it must be getting near.
To complete the forms.
To shed a tear.

It’s soon will be the filing date.
Receipts and bills.
It’s getting late.

I started out late last year.
I did what I could.
I waited here.

Every year, it seems the same.
January fifth, I’m almost done.
April tenth, I’m quite insane.

April fourteenth, I will announce,
“I’ve sent the damn thing in!”
Hope the check won’t bounce.

Katie

I am not a Princess.
I am a Queen, Dammit.
Hear me roar.

Where is my food?
Where are my subjects?
Where are my snacks?

I am waiting.
Do you not hear me?
I can be louder.

This is my castle.
Quake before me.
But first, snacks.

RIP Kaitlin Renee (2006-2022)

Dying Battery Blues

Dying smoke detectors will beep beep beep.
This of course while I was trying to sleep.
I heard it dying, yet beeping away.
Saying, “Your wife should have fixed this yesterday.”

Simple fix – she took the battery out.
But then the alarm began to pout.
Pouting is a long anguished scream.
It is worse than a battery out of steam.

No more napping time will it allow
It wants a battery and it wants it now.
We had an extra one on hand.
Or it would be buried in the sand.

Everyone else went back to bed.
I will go to work sleepy instead.
The smoke alarm doesn’t make a peep.
Which is certainly better than beep beep beep.

Work Day

I need my lunch.
I have to pee.
I need a break.
I need coffee.

We’ve been conferencing
Since nine this morn.
It seems like it’s been
Since I was born.

There can’t be this much to do.
There can’t be more slides.
I want to stretch my legs.
I want off my backsides.

Amen.

Fall in Spring

I was rearranging my plants.
In my lucky sweat pants.
That’s not really my point.
I’ve wounded another joint.

It’s Spring and lovely as can be,
But I fell and tweaked my knee.
Watching my new plants stand tall,
And I’m wondering if I can crawl.

Everything is still locked down,
We’re just remaining in town.
Otherwise, I’d be on a ship,
But I still had my Spring Break trip.

Crack of Dawn

One last meeting
Before I can go home.
But I’m in India,
So it’s your first meeting.

Video conferencing is the bomb.
Teams can be anywhere,
And still can get together.
The world is one conference room.

It’s 5:30pm in Bangalore.
It’s 2:00pm in Budapest.
It’s 7:00am in Dallas.
We can still all meet.

I’m the one in Dallas.
I haven’t had enough coffee.
There may not be enough coffee.
Time zones are a bitch.