I hate my job.
I hate my wife.
I hate my dogs.
I hate my life.

I need something
To set me free.
I need good drugs.
I need … coffee.

Coffee saved my life today.
Caffeine in a paper cup.
Cream and sugar.
My spirits raised up.

My job is great.
My wife is tanned.
My dogs are fun.
My life is grand.

Summer in Dallas

It’s summer in Dallas,
I’m melting inside.
It’s over 100,
There’s no place to hide.

It’s summer in Dallas,
Ice cream man with a scoop.
By the time you start eating,
It’s chocolate mint soup.

It’s summer in Dallas,
It’s too hot for clothes.
Either draw all the shutters,
Or give the neighbors a pose.

It’s summer in Dallas,
Stay off of the street.
We’ll head north to Plano,
To get out of the heat.

It’s summer in Dallas,
Sun’s burning my head.
It’s too hot for coffee,
So I’m staying in bed.


We have a Cocker Spaniel.
His name is Murphy.
Murphy is chocolate colored,
With blonde tendencies.

Still, Spaniels are intelligent.
They were bred to retrieve.
Hunters would hunt woodcocks,
Cockers would bring them back.

So, Cockers have good eyes,
The ability to find small items,
And a soft mouth to carry it.

(Murphy actually has bad eyes,
And he can’t find much,
But still.

I don’t have any woodcocks handy.
There aren’t any dead birds in the yard.
Plus, Rocky would get to dead birds first.

So, I thought Murphy could be retrained.
Yet, he refuses to bring me coffee.
Maybe if I get a bird-shaped mug.