Sea Shanty Italiano

Sea shanties are always about the sea. This is, of course, unfair. There are plenty of worthy subjects for sea shanties, and plenty of other occupations (say, cooking or gossip) where having a way to keep a group in rhythm would be helpful.

To the tune of Drunken Sailor

What do you do with a Wife Italian?
What do you do with a Wife Italian?
What do you do with a Wife Italian,
Sometime late mid-morning?

Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Don’t wake her up or she might cut you!
Don’t wake her up or she might cut you!
Don’t wake her up or she might cut you,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Wake up the dogs, and let them wake her!
Wake up the dogs, and let them wake her!
Wake up the dogs, and let them wake her,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning?

Quiet in the house, let’s watch her stories!
Quiet in the house, let’s watch her stories!
Quiet in the house, let’s watch her stories,
Sometime late mid-morning?

Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Time for the news, let’s call her sisters!
Time for the news, let’s call her sisters!
Time for the news, let’s call her sisters,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Read another book by Nora Roberts!
Read another book by Nora Roberts!
Read another book by Nora Roberts,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Visit Amazon, and buy her trinkets!
Visit Amazon, and buy her trinkets!
Visit Amazon, and buy her trinkets,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Feed her an Eggplant Parmigiana!
Feed her an Eggplant Parmigiana!
Feed her an Eggplant Parmigiana,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Douse her with water and watch her melting!
Douse her with water and watch her melting!
Douse her with water and watch her melting,
Sometime late mid-morning!

Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!

What do you do with a Wife Italian?
What do you do with a Wife Italian?
What do you do with a Wife Italian,
Sometime late mid-morning?

Drawing a Blank

I’m not sure what goes here today.
I don’t know what I want to say.
So, I sit and watch the clock.
Trying to cure my writer’s block.

I could attempt some more haiku.
There should be something more to do.
This should be a meaningful account,
Not just a specific syllable count.

So, I will sit and watch the screen.
My imagination has been wiped clean.
Eventually, a concept will arrive.
As disco taught, I will survive.

Contactless

Just drop my order.
Drop and go.
Don’t call my cell.
Don’t let me know.

I have the app.
Know where you’ve been.
Know when you missed
My house again.

I get text alerts
As you approach.
I know where you are.
Don’t need a coach.

Don’t knock the door.
Don’t ring the bell.
It makes my dogs
Bark loud as hell.

Wear a mask.
You’re on my Ring.
I see your face.
I see everything.

Just drop my order.
Drop and go.
That’s your job.
All you need to know.

Watching My Weight

Spicy fried chicken.
A breast, leg and thigh.
Mashed potatoes,
A fried apple pie.

Triple bacon burger,
Double cheese.
A large side of fries.
My heart won’t seize.

Chicago pizza.
That thick, thick crust.
Extra sausage.
It’s a must.

At last a drink,
So I don’t choke.
I’ll wash it down
With Diet Coke.

Oncor Haikus

Notes from the author: Woke up this morning, having trouble breathing. Looked up to check the time, and my projection clock was out. That’s when I realized my breathing issues were because my CPAP was not running. Took off my mask, and watched as the ceiling fan spun slowly to a stop. The power is out again.


Warmness engulfs me.
Ceiling fans no longer run.
Power out again.


Bleeding quietly.
I was shaving in the dark.
Blades of danger.


Messages flowing.
Oncor status emails sent.
Email needs Internet.


Living in darkness.
My world is in the shadows.
I am powerless.

Another Year

Another year has come and gone.
I wonder what I have done wrong.
We barely ever left the house.
We’ve just been quiet as a mouse.
We’ve had our two government shots.
I don’t see that it helps a lot.
I hope we get to travel soon.
I’m feeling crazy as a loon.

Uninspired

This must be a Monday,
I have nothing clever to say.
Don’t give this a second look.
My mind is but an open book.

I’ve been spending all this time,
Just to find some words to rhyme.
My head is feeling very dense.
The words don’t really make much sense.

Tomorrow is another day.
I’m sure my mind will be OK.
I will have a great work of art.
At least I’ll have another start.