A Bird’s Saga

Daddy said, “It’s time to fly!”
I did not know it’s do or die.
I heard the coffee start to perk,
Then he and Mom went off to work.

Today, I left my little bed.
I fell and cracked my little head.
As I tried to clear my brain,
Help appeared to stop my pain.

A Chihuahua stopped to render aid.
He picked me up from where I laid.
I heard his Dad yell, “Rocky, NO!”
Why won’t he let him help me so?

Ouch. I feel teeth upon my back.
I think I may become a snack.
Wait. He dropped me on the grass.
His Dad just saved my feathered ass.

Some lady put me in a box.
She took me quickly, like a fox.
Wait. Fox is not the best example.
Foxes also like a bird to sample.

The lady put me outside the fence.
I’m starting to regain my sense.
I wonder how I get back home.
I should fly and not just roam.

I don’t know where I go from here.
At least there is no dog to fear.
I have a pain all through my head.
The lesson? Don’t get out of bed.


That’s a Wrap

Editor’s Note: And so another edition of NaPoWriMo comes to a close. Thirty days, thirty poems. No guarantees on quality. If my wife likes three of them, it’s a good year – which is why so many were about our Chihuahua.

Another year is closing down,
I think I may head out of town.
Thirty days of writing poems.
I hope they all will find good homes.
Some I thought were pretty good.
Some (like this) are just dead wood.
I hope to see you all next year.
If you miss me, shed a tear.

Turkey!
Ham!
Mayo!
Pickles!
Onions!
Pita!
That’s a wrap!

The Owl’s Song

Editor’s Note: Blind John Ellsworth is dedicated to animal welfare, and wants all pets to be safe. So, it pains him to see reports of neighbors “losing” pets because they are left outside unattended — or worse, are “outside” pets. So, here’s a reminder.

There is a majestic old owl.
He patrols when the skies are black.
I thought he was looking for Tootsie-Pops,
But I think he’s looking for a snack.

When the wind is low,
Behind my bungalow.
I can hear the owl’s song.
If you know it, sing along.

Who let the dogs out?
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Burp.

Roadtrip

Are we there yet?


I just so love being in the car.
Houston now seems very far.
We’ve been there other times before.
Each time it’s south-er even more.
I really wish you’d let me drive.
I can’t deal with all this right-lane jive.
My eyelids are about to drop.
I think I need a Buc-ee’s stop.
The GPS says two hours to go.
That I didn’t need to know.

Are we there yet?

Verbal Tics

I am at an age where
I notice certain things.
I am at an age where
I notice annoying things.
Literally.

One of those this things
Infected a YouTube video
That my wife was watching.
I could literally hear the audio
Even though she was across the room.
Literally.

A lot of people have verbal tics.
They will literally say them
All the time.
It’s cringe-inducing.
Literally.

My tic is that I say “Um”.
I literally say “Um”
All the time.

I might even be saying “Um”
While I’m trying to write this,
But I promise I will edit them out.
Actually, I don’t type them,
I just hear them in my head.
Literally.

So, if I say “Um” to you,
It means my brain is working.
Perhaps.
People should just have a LED
On their forehead that says,
“Working.”
Literally.

Tax Days

All the numbers that I just copied,
Say “This info furnished to the IRS.”
That’s so nice and easy.
The Feds don’t have to guess.

If they have the info already,
And they design the forms to fill.
Why don’t they just do our taxes?
Then just send us out our bill.

Weekend

Weekends should be restful.
A time to recharge and relax.
This weekend, my schedule is not.
I have mentoring, a funeral,
A birthday party and more mentoring.
Plus, homework and taxes.
Can’t I just go to work instead?

Elements

Someone once said that
The two most common elements
Were hydrogen and stupidity.
This person did not have a Chihuahua.

If he had, the phrase would have been
The top three elements, and the
Most prevalent of all would have been
lovely, shedding Chihuahua hair.

I went to Peoria, Illinois on business.
It was far away from hearth and home.
I had my computers and my clothes,
And in my suitcase, Chihuahua hair.

My wife is having a midlife crisis.
She dyed her hair purple and blue.
The crisis was just a cover story.
She just wants to know which hair is hers.

If my wife had replaced Neil Armstrong,
The quote for history would have been
“That’s one small step for man …
Dammit! Where is all this hair from?”

Really?
Do you need to ask?

Conflict of Interest

Editor’s Note: This is from a non-scientific study, but results are interesting.

Dogs sleep 19 hours a day (or so.)
They’re really not very active at all.
They will show up for all mealtimes,
Or sometimes, just to catch a ball.

So, eighty percent per day asleep,
A vast amount of total time spent,
Yet, when I take a one-hour nap,
That hour will be in the twenty percent.