One last meeting
Before I can go home.
But I’m in India,
So it’s your first meeting.
Video conferencing is the bomb.
Teams can be anywhere,
And still can get together.
The world is one conference room.
It’s 5:30pm in Bangalore.
It’s 2:00pm in Budapest.
It’s 7:00am in Dallas.
We can still all meet.
I’m the one in Dallas.
I haven’t had enough coffee.
There may not be enough coffee.
Time zones are a bitch.
Bored.
Oh, Lord.
I’m bored.
Working at home.
(Like I was before.)
Let me explain.
In January,
I broke my ankle.
Broke my foot as well.
The doctor asked,
“This was one fall?”
Splint, boot, cast, boot.
My doctor said I should stay off it.
Avoid traveling.
So, I was stuck at home.
My wife said, “At least you work at home.”
Annoyed.
Very annoyed.
But it was my fault.
April,
I can walk!
I’m free at last!
Bad timing.
Everyone said,
“Stay home!”
“Avoid everyone!”
“Work at home!”
“Don’t travel!”
So, it’s pretty much
Like breaking my foot again.
Except I didn’t.
So, I’m annoyed.
And, I’m bored.
Oh, Lord.
I’m bored.
Laid off.
Thrown away.
I don’t feel
Very good today.
Time to find
Another job.
A long-term gig,
A bank to rob.
Nineteen years,
Down the drain.
I need something
To ease the pain.
So much time,
On the treadle,
So where is my
Participation medal?
I have a seven am meeting.
I have a meeting at nine.
I have another at ten,
At least that one is mine.
I have a meeting at one.
I have a meeting at two.
Last one at nine in the evening.
I wish it weren’t true.
Web conferences bring us closer,
Of this I make no bones,
It’s just they don’t solve the issue
Of our pesky time zones.
I keep my email in folders.
It helps organize my day.
There are some I need forever.
There are some I throw away.
Some folders are very full.
Some only have a few.
It depends on the workload.
It depends on what I do.
So, if you have your own folder,
Beyond a project or a task.
A folder dedicated to just you,
You’re probably a pain in the ass.
I was getting work done.
It was difficult, but doable.
Then, I got a co-worker.
Now, work was a bit easier.
We split the task in two.
He did half and I did half.
We just had to compare notes.
Making sure the halves fit together.
Then, we got a couple more people.
Now, work would go really fast!
We each only did a quarter.
It just took longer to make the pieces fit.
So, we got a manager to watch over us.
His job was to make sure the pieces fit.
He would talk to each of us every day.
This started taking up valuable time.
So, we started having team meetings.
We had weekly meetings at first.
This was a place to discuss progress.
We would talk about how the pieces all fit.
Progress seemed slower than at first.
So, we started having daily meetings.
Now, we were talking about why pieces didn’t fit.
This did not seem as positive as before.
Apparently, the daily meetings didn’t work.
So, we got a project manager.
He worked for the manager.
His job was to make sure the meetings fit.
When the meetings took even more time,
Since we had to explain everything to the project manager,
We got a technical consultant to help us.
He was going to make the pieces fit like they did at other places.
He said we needed to stand up at the meetings.
Successful companies can’t afford chairs, I guess.
Now, the meetings would go slightly faster,
But we still seemed to be working more slowly.
We sure are in a lot of meetings.
I miss working by myself.
I wish I lived on East Coast time.
I’m so tired now, the words don’t rhyme.
This meeting started right at nine,
Or eight bloody AM, Central Time.
Last week, I had a class right after lunch.
So it was during mine, so thanks a bunch.
It could be worse, I always say.
I could live on the Coast, say, in LA.
California is the place you ought to be,
If you want meetings before you can even see.
New York is the center of the universe, fine.
Just stop making us work on New York time.
