Crack of Dawn

One last meeting
Before I can go home.
But I’m in India,
So it’s your first meeting.

Video conferencing is the bomb.
Teams can be anywhere,
And still can get together.
The world is one conference room.

It’s 5:30pm in Bangalore.
It’s 2:00pm in Budapest.
It’s 7:00am in Dallas.
We can still all meet.

I’m the one in Dallas.
I haven’t had enough coffee.
There may not be enough coffee.
Time zones are a bitch.

Alien Abduction

It’s the God’s honest truth.
You can ask my wife, Ruth.
I was abducted.
I flew into space.

I can still barely speak,
And it happened last week.
Up to a spacecraft.
Up in outer space.

I car pooled to my job,
With my dear old friend Rob.
When we saw something
Flash on the roadside.

We both got out to look,
Ended up on a hook,
And a tractor beam
Took us into space.

I felt close to my death,
As I struggled for breath.
I started to pray,
Rob just wet his pants.

The craft was long and wide,
It was shiny inside.
There were aliens
At least three or four.

The boss was a large blob,
Who was poking at Rob.
While a tall female
Kept poking at me.

There was a silver tray,
With bodies on display.
They were the  victims
So, I just played dead.

A woman measured Rob,
Who’s a bit of a slob,
And she handed him 
To one with a knife.

I made myself seem small,
And I’m not really tall.
The boss measured me
And looked very sad.

Said, “He’s eight inches, Bill”
“But I would keep him still.”
Then, I heard Bill say,
“He’s over the side.”

The alien dropped me.
And as I floated free,
I wondered what had
Happened to poor Rob.

I gently floated down.
Finally landed in town.
Then, I didn’t know 
What I should do next.

I went on into work,
But I felt like a jerk.
So I went back home,
And cried in my bed.

So, a lesson hard-won,
To remember, my son.
Don’t always believe 
Everything you see.

While something looks nice,
You must always think twice.
While worms are tasty,
They’re not from the sea.

Breaking News

Crisis.
Crisis.
Really huge crisis.
Human interest.. until someone gets hurt.
Crisis.

I don’t really care.
Most of it doesn’t affect me.
Most of it will be gone tomorrow.
It’s just exhausting.

Can we have some good news?
Can we have some different news?
Actually, can we have some Rocky & Bullwinkle?

Sailing

We should be on a ship,
Sailing across the sea.
Yet, we’re stuck at home,
Bored as we can be.

The living room’s our Lido Deck,
But there isn’t much to do.
We don’t have any contests,
There isn’t any pool.

Our buffet is open all day long,
It’s called the kitchen here.
There’s not a wide selection,
And bars don’t have any beer.

We can go out on excursions,
Just like on any cruise.
It’s now a bit like gambling,
With just your life to lose.

The back porch is our balcony,
The back yard’s our open sea,
The view just never changes,
We’re docked at Homestead Quay.