Anything you need,
Just use the app.
Don’t open the door,
Leave it on the mat.
To meet your team,
You just use Zoom.
You won’t even be
In the same room.
If you need a friend,
There’s online chat.
If you need a date,
Let’s not talk about that.
Defeat the virus!
Just stay home!
The problem is
We’re all alone.
You don’t understand me at all.
Hey! Listen to me!
I’m trying to tell you something important.
Time to go out.
Why am I in the yard?
Time to come in.
Wow. I’m full.
Is there more?
Why are you touching me?
Stranger! Stranger! Stran.. Oh, it’s Mom.
Stranger! Stranger! Stran.. Oh, it’s Dad.
I’ll finish my nap.
Time to go out.
Cleanup on aisle three.
I’m just a bit hungry.
Why did you wake me up?
Is there food?
Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad?
Grandma said you have to share your steak.
This slipper tastes like steak, I think.
Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?
I’m starving again.
Not now, I’m napping.
Can I have a snack?
My name is Graham.
I am a Gnome.
I am so bored.
I’m stuck at home.
I want to swim.
I want to surf.
I need a friend.
I’ll date a Smurf.
I am off to sail,
Across the sea.
I need a cruise.
Will you go with me?
While we are all here on lockdown,
Just sitting at home has lost its thrills.
So, I am working on self-improvement.
I am taking the time to increase my skills.
Last week, I studied to be a mob boss.
I learned to show no mercy.
Now, I have to find my associates.
I just don’t want to move to Jersey.
This week, I learned to be a King.
Assuming it’s like being a Queen.
I will kindly rule my Empire,
I need a crown and some caffeine.
Today, I learned to run a crab boat.
“Captain” has been on my bucket list.
Now, I just need to get a boat.
Then, I have a crew to enlist.
I was learning to be a survivor,
But it didn’t last too long.
It’s just office committee politics,
Where the weak outvote the strong.
Next week, I’ll run a rescue,
Although it may be life or death.
It doesn’t sound too difficult,
I hear you need tigers and some meth.
I set Alexa into Spanish mode.
I didn’t know you could.
My friends think it’s crazy.
They don’t know why I would.
I can’t ask her any questions now.
So why did I make the swap?
While I don’t know weather in Alsaka,
It means my wife can’t shop.
I need a small snack.
Nap time is my favorite.
All. Squirrels. Must. Die.
Staring at the same four walls.
Slowly losing mind.
Hold the fort!
This piece is short.
Take me to court.
I’ll just snort.
Working at home.
(Like I was before.)
Let me explain.
I broke my ankle.
Broke my foot as well.
The doctor asked,
“This was one fall?”
Splint, boot, cast, boot.
My doctor said I should stay off it.
So, I was stuck at home.
My wife said, “At least you work at home.”
But it was my fault.
I can walk!
I’m free at last!
“Work at home!”
So, it’s pretty much
Like breaking my foot again.
Except I didn’t.
So, I’m annoyed.
And, I’m bored.
We have a very vocal puppy.
Her name is Katie.
She talks all the time.
(She gets it from her Mom.)
The problem with a vocal puppy,
Is that nobody in the house speaks Dog.
With the exception of the Chihuahua,
And nobody speaks Spanish, either.
Katie howls at the front window.
This means, “Mail’s here.”
Unless, “The yard man is mowing.”
Sometimes, “A leaf blew in the street.”
Katie whimpers by the bed.
(Only in the middle of the night.)
This means, “I must go outside.”
Or, “Daddy’s sleeping in my spot.”
Sometimes, “Can you get me a snack?”
Katie whines in the kitchen.
This means, “Feed me now.”
Perhaps, “I would like some attention.”
Rarely, “My goodness, I am full.”
Katie cries by the back door.
This means, “Potty, please.”
Unless it means, “The neighbors are loud.”
Maybe, “There is noise out front, but this door has a window.”
Katie moans by the bedroom door.
On the outside, “Let me in!”
On the inside, “Let me out!”
That one, we understand.