My whining dogs both had to pee.
So I got up to set them free.
I felt my little foot go snap.
I said a loud and painful “Crap!”

In all the years that I have grown,
I never had a broken bone.
Now, I think that I have four.
It may be that or even more.

We had to skip our Springtime cruise.
Because my foot was full of screws.
To think that one little slip
Made me miss a weeklong trip.

A Couple in Quarantine

So, I’m waiting in the ER tonight.
I got the feeling that something ain’t right.
I’m so scared I have a fever and cough.
I’m hoping drugs can just get me off.

Coughs to the left of me,
Fever to the right.
Here I am stuck in the middle with you.

Well, I’m stuck in the middle with you.
And I’m hoping that it’s not Wuhan flu.
It’s so hard to keep my hands from my face.
And I want to puke all over the place.

Coughs to the left of me,
Fever to the right.
Here I am stuck in the middle with you.

Well, you started out with nothing,
Till you took a cruise ship to Japan.
Now, the doctors all come calling,
Slap you on the back and say,

Trying to make some sense of it all.
My wife shows no symptoms at all.
Is it cool to just pass out on the floor?
‘Cause I don’t that I can take any more.

Coughs to the left of me.
Fever to the right.
Here I am stuck in the middle with flu.

(with deepest apologies to Stealer’s Wheel)

Accounting Review

Accounting is finally done.
Except for the final exam.
So, I will say once again,
Oh, how I hate Accounting.

Accounting is just basic math.
Accounting class is calculus.
Calculus as in:
As pages approach the end of the book,
Chances of napping approach infinity.

I do not like credits and debits.
I do not like them, Sam I Am.

This should all be in a red font.
Because it is extremely negative.


I sat on our patio this afternoon.
I can see our neighbor’s fence.
I watch my dogs sitting in the grass.

I cannot see any waves.
There aren’t islands far away.
I haven’t seen a seagull, ever.

I think I need a cruise.


I have a budget project.
It’s for accounting class.
It’s a pain in the ass.

We have to make up numbers.
Technically, we research.
I have actuals from projects.
So, a hard drive search.

We’re still in business,
So I should get an ‘A’.
I have to make a completed event
Appear it would be a successful day.
I’m pulling for a ‘B+’.

Adventure Escaped

We are going to get an RV.
It is time to hit the open road.
We will go wherever we wanted.
We will be Grandparent Ninjas,
Swooping in to visit and vanishing.

Off to discover America on the open road.
We would have no schedule to meet.
Sleep wherever we wanted to sleep.
Stay as long as we liked.
Vanish with the wind.

We learned some of the lingo.
I signed up for all the emails.
We watched all the RV programs.
We yelled at all the families
Who obviously picked the wrong unit.

I started a blog because I was serious.
I began mapping our planned journeys.
We would retrace some of the long roads
We had previously traveled by car.
This would be so much less stressful.

Finally we started looking at RVs.
I wanted a Class A like Willie’s bus,
Just with less smoke.
My wife wanted a travel trailer.
She didn’t want to be a bus driver.

Some RVs seemed a wee bit small,
Especially for larger people.
Then, my wife reclined on an RV bed,
With her relatively bad back.
She said, “Where will you sleep?”

We both considered driving with forty feet
Of metal following behind on every turn.
We’d both backed into things in cars.
I wondered how to determine bridge ratings
Before we plunged into a raging river.

Soon we realized it was convenient to
Sleep wherever you wanted to sleep.
Stay as long as you liked.
Have coffee and breakfast in the morning.

We will save a lot of money not getting a RV.
This savings will help cushion the sadness.
Much of the savings will end up going to
Our friends at Hampton Inns worldwide.
We’d drive beds with us but they have them already.

Since we don’t have to drive our beds around,
The rest of the RV savings fund goes to
Our friends at Southwest Airlines.
They go pretty much where we would have driven,
And they actually go faster than my wife.

I’m sad we are not getting an RV.
On the other hand, I can afford the groceries
My wife can fit inside a car, even a rental.
I’m not sure how much of Carfagna’s
She could have fit inside a toy hauler.


I hear my wife gently breathing.
I hear the dogs rustling around.
I hear the owl calling outside.
I hear the rain hit the ground.

I hear the water in the pipes.
I hear the A/C turning on.
I hear leaves falling.
I hear grass on the lawn.

I hear the ducts expanding.
I hear the monsters creep.
I hear the alarm sounding.
Now, I can sleep.