Squirrels

A squirrel was living in my car.
I guess I hadn’t driven it too far.
I found his nuts under my hood.
Well, pecan shells (I guess the nuts were good.)

My car is now in the shop.
I’m waiting for the ball to drop.
A warranty is a great advantage,
But it doesn’t cover rodent damage.

Plano at Rush Hour

He thinks that no-one will complain,
As he exits from the far left lane.

Kill me.
Kill me now.

She is like a pig in clover,
As she slides her three lanes over.

Kill me.
Kill me now.

He thinks he may have seen a cop.
So, let’s have all on Central stop.

Kill me.
Kill me now.

Some of the smartest people alive,
But none of them know how to drive.

Kill me.
Kill me now.

Busy

I suppress another yawn.
Where has all the time gone?
There is too much to say.
Not enough time left to play.
I am just trying to hang on.

I need time to slow down.
Let the crises leave town.
I need time to think.
I’m starting to sink.
Must be a nervous breakdown.

Journeys 

I’ve crossed the final ocean.
I’ve reached the distant shore.
My body isn’t broken,
I feel the pain no more.

I don’t want to hear you grieving,
My dear friends I left behind.
I will always be there with you,
If you keep me in your mind.

My time on Earth is finished,
Life’s journey reached its end.
But the end brings new beginnings,
And the journey starts again.

Corporate Avenue

Start at the corner of Hope and Innocence,
Follow Hope South until it becomes Despair.
Your career progresses as you go,
Nothing vodka or Prozac won’t repair.

Keeping going down Despair,
You’ll know when you are through.
It dead ends at Retirement.
Alongside Corporate Avenue.

Corporate Avenue is a long, hard road.
There are twists and turns and merges,
You have to find a decent driver,
Then hope he survives the purges.

I’ve been driven off a cliff.
I’ve been driven into walls.

I remember drivers drinking,
While they suffered through the drive.

I remember changing drivers,
While we were doing sixty-five.

The only thing that bothers me,
It often shakes me to my core.
Is how many times along the way,
I know I’ve seen that house before.

Ellie’s Blues

Editor’s Note: Sometimes, even a bluesman visits his family. The joys of grandchildren climbing all over you is generally followed by a rare, short-term but hellish disease.

Ellie’s cold is killing me.
Doo-dah, doo-dah.
Snot as far as I can see.
All the doo-dah day.

Gonna run all night (my nose),
Gonna run all day.
I need some antihistamines.
I need to get away.

The kids’ house is a haz-mat site.
Doo-dah, doo-dah.
Boogers running day and night.
All the doo-dah day.

Gonna run all night (my nose)
Gonna run all day.
I’m back home in Dallas now.
With a blocked airway.