Garden Cafe

Sitting at the Garden Cafe,
The Golden Corral of the Sea.
Buffets, the great equalizer.

Watching the world go by.
Masses of people,
Masses of calories.

Many look very lost.
Some look confused.
Some look … wow.

This is the same gene pool
That gave us Heidi Klum
And Stephen Hawking.

Hard to believe.
I need dessert.
Back into the crowds.

Lost at Sea

There’s a ship off in the distance.
Sailing westward as she goes.
We’re still heading eastbound,
As the time begins to slow.

A lonely ship is all I see,
There must be others keeping pace.
Just two ships in the ocean
Doesn’t seem a likely case.

I know the Atlantic is vast,
But I’m just a bit amazed 
How much time we seem to be alone,
While churning through the waves.

Slot Pull 

A slot pull is a way to become rich.
That is the theory.
Actually, it’s the co-ed softball
of the casino.

In co-ed softball,
When the team loses,
The men say
The women hit like girls.
The women say
The men are all frustrated jocks.
Everyone laughes.

In a slot pull,
Instead of losing money alone,
You lose it on a team.

We turned $15 each into $7 each!
Now, this may seem like we
Each lost 8 bucks.

However, if everyone had shown up,
And if someone would have played left-handed,
We’d all be millionaires.

Everyone laughes.

Recycled

My name is Bob,
And I’m a can.
Just an aluminum tube,
That distributes stuff.

I’ve carried good beer
To Germany and Australia,
I’ve carried weak beer
All over the USA.

I took sweet tea to Raliegh,
I took wine to San Jose.
I took soda everywhere.

So, lots of good contents
Went to lots of places.
It’s basically the same job,
But adapted to changing needs.

But my new bosses hate recycling.
They’re allergic to all old cans.
They only want new aluminum,
And they like imported, not domestic.

So, I’ve been trashed.
Kicked to the curb.
I can still carry things,
But I’m not good enough anymore.

It was fun while it lasted.
I just don’t understand.
If your customers are in the USA,
Why are your cans in India?

Eastbound 

Sailing back to Europe,
Losing an hour almost every day.
This is what causes the ugky American.
We’re sleep deprived.

Still, I’d rather take two weeks
And be a bit sleep deprived,
Than take ten hours or so,
And be jet-lagged.

On a ship,
You have a cabin.
On a plane,
You have a seat.

Cabins share walls.
These are sometimes thin.
However, seats share armrests,
And these are much thinner.

Pub Crawl

I never knew a pub crawl
Could be so organized.
Actually, it can’t.

Just pick a starting place.
Might want a starting time.
Then, go have a drink.

Teams will self-organize.
This takes time.
But not much.