Author: kjgilhooly

Sailing

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

I thought I saw a dolphin,
Out swimming in the sea.
It could have been a mermaid,
They look the same to me.
(I need my glasses.)

I’m on the second watch,
I’m sitting on my balcony.
I’m on my third Mojito,
So it looks pretty clear to me.
(Rum is tasty.)

I was born to be a sailor,
To explore the Seven Seas.
I just need a decent cabin,
And another Mojito, please.
(Watching the ocean is thirsty work.)

This may not be the life,
Of the brave sailors of old times.
They made a living sailing,
Among their many crimes.

I’m too late to be a pirate,
As Jimmy Buffett said.
Yet, staring at the ocean
Will get inside your head.
(Can you get me another Mojito?)

Progress

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

The Cutty Sark made seventeen knots,

From London Town to China.

She used the wind to carry tea.

For a time, there were none finer.

The clipper ships were eclipsed

By new ships powered by steam.

The steamship beat the ships with sails,

But sails are still a sailor’s dream.

So, today I’m doing twenty knots,

With diesel-electric power down below.

Three knots faster than the Cutty Sark.

Is it such a better way to go?

Old Folks Cruise

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Turn the music up loud.
Dance lessons, please.
Break out the cards and board games.
Take the chewy stuff off the buffet.
Nothing starts until 11:00am.
Everything ends by 9:45pm.
Don’t schedule anything at naptime.
Bingo is sacred.

Aging

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

We’re falling apart.
From head to toes,
From North to South,

All parts must go.

We’re forgetting things
We used to know.
From basic to complex,
From fast to slow.

There’s other problems,
This was just a little bit.
I had even more problems,
I don’t know where I wrote it.

Columbus on a Cruise

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Imagine if Columbus didn’t have
The Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria.
What if he just took Norwegian?

Sailing out of Barcelona.
Nothing but blue skies and blue seas.
(Maybe a Carnival ship, but that’s confusing.)

“Sir! We’re out of salt tack!”
The buffet is on deck 10.
Washy, Washy. Happy, Happy.

“Sir! I burned my eyes with the sextant.”
Why aren’t you using the GPS?
Why are we steering manually, anyway?

“Sir! When will we arrive?”
We should be in Miami on Tuesday.
I’ll be in the casino.

The First Dalmatian

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Some dogs have specific jobs.
They were bred to do a task.
Other dogs just wander ’round.
Ignoring what you ask.

Mommies never show their age.
They have ways of stalling time.
There are many tricks of their trade,
To keep them looking in their prime.

We have a goofy dog that owns us.
He doesn’t listen very well.
He pokes people for attention.
Sometimes, he makes you yell.

Mommy’s gray is vanishing.
She’s got gloves and dye in pots.
Our doggie poked her in the leg,
And now the dog’s got spots.

Furosemide Blues

~ kjgilhooly ~ 1 Comment

My doctor found excess water
In my ankles and my feet.
He said, “I have a cure for you,
Here’s a pill that can’t be beat.”

I never used to exercise.
My feet were made of clay.
But now, I take Furosemide.
So, I run around all day.

I’ve located every bathroom,
Between my office and my home.
I’ve panic stopped at most of them.
I’m never far to roam.

I’ve found the shortest distance
To every rest room on my floor.
I know how to avoid the talkers,
I’m not distracted any more.

I’m running more than ever,
From sea to shining sea.
I’ll complete this in a moment,
But first, I have to pee.

Fifty Five

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Wine improves with aging,
So does imported cheese.
My life has turned to vinegar,
So, can I stop aging, please?

I wrote a poem at fifty-four,
It wasn’t bad, I think.
But that was a year ago,
Now, I need a drink.

I don’t really feel that old.
Age is all in the mind, I see.
So, I guess I’ll pick a random time,
Let’s say, I’m forty-three.

In spite of all the Facebook posts,
My expression is still stony.
I’ve finally admitted to myself,
I’ll never get a pony.