Dear Lord,
Please keep me safe from harm.
Let me return home safely.
And please keep me from
Killing my companions.
Amen.
Author: kjgilhooly
STROG
Time for us to cross
From New World into Old,
Where waters flow both ways,
And weather is warm yet cold.
Leaving the Atlantic,
Sailing into the Med,
The cruise is almost finished.
At least we’ve been well-fed.
It’s been an Epic journey,
From Florida to Spain.
Time to find our land legs,
There are no hours left to gain.
No, hours to lose.
We’re going Eastbound.
I need a drink.
Go West, Young Man
Someone said (a long time ago),
“Go West, Young Man!”
Words of travel wisdom.
The direction of progress, if you can.
The reason you go West
Is simple as can be.
You gain an hour almost every day,
As you sail across the sea.
Sailing East usually means
You’re looking a bit dour
(If you’re somewhat European)
Plus, you lose a freakin’ hour.
Losing an hour a day sucks.
It’s why people fly over the seas.
Planes are not as romantic as ships,
Just yank that Band-Aid off at once, please.
Crisis
I’ve drunk cheap Scotch,
I’ve had bad food.
I’ve been insulted
By people who were rude.
It just made me stronger.
These problems that I met.
But then I went sailing,
And lost the Internet.
That one hurt.
A lot.
Diaspora
Thousands of raw acres
of prime South Texas land.
Mesquite, minimal water,
Fossils, fences and sand.
It’s a place to raise cattle,
With horsepower and sweat.
You can become wealthy,
It’s just not how to bet.
From the thousands of acres
Generations sliced off their share.
One ranch became ranches,
But nobody seemed to care.
The pastures were a man’s world,
There were no girls allowed.
There were many disappointments,
Some best not said out loud.
When I first visited the ranch,
It stretched as far as I could see.
Someone said, “That’s nothin’, son”.
“This used to reach to Uvalde.”
One by one, they moved to town,
It’s where they all belonged.
This could have been the King Ranch,
If they could have got along.
Sail Away
Vacation at last has started.
We’ve finally left upon our trip.
The Captain saw my wife’s luggage,
“We’re gonna need a bigger ship.”
Outbound
I’m not that fond of Miami,
But it’s where the ships all live.
They won’t sail up to Dallas,
No matter how much I give.
We’re off to Barcelona,
I’ve never been to Spain.
(But I kinda like the music.)
That song is quite a pain.
See you in a couple weeks,
We’ll be sailing across the sea.
I’ll be thinking of you always.
Don’t have meetings without me!
Vacation Day
Vacation Day is like Christmas Day.
It changes as you age.
When you’re young, excitement.
When you’re older, stress and rage.
Where is the camera?
What’s in this bag?
Where’s the pet sitter?
Stop your crying jag!
Where is the taxi?
Isn’t it late?
I’m not ready yet.
I don’t feel so great.
Do we have everything?
What did we forget?
Who’s feeding Mom?
I don’t recall who lost the bet.
I’m almost ready.
Just one more conference call.
Go ahead and start loading.
I’ll be right with y’all.
Close the taxi door.
At last we are away.
Did you transfer all our savings?
Because now we start to pay.
Hey! I’m not hyperventilating.
I’m starting to unwind.
Stress is dissolving.
Real life is off my mind.
Did you turn the coffee pot off?
CVS Blues
This isn’t my prescription.
I need more of this drug.
This paperwork is last year’s.
I don’t get a jar, I get a jug.
My insurance covers this.
Why do you charge so much?
I think you ran it wrong.
Do you think we’re going Dutch?
This is pure insanity.
Why do I wait so long?
When I smoked pot in college,
My dealer never got it wrong.
I-635 Blues
Slide on over, baby.
Slide on over slow.
We’re about to miss our exit.
I don’t know where to go.
Move on over, baby.
Move on over fast.
There’s a tanker truck a comin’
I’m fixin’ to get passed.
Drive on over, baby.
Drive on to this song.
I’ve never seen such traffic.
It’s rush hour all day long.
Roll on over, baby.
You know my heart’s on fire.
There’s a pothole in the roadway,
And I’m about to lose a tire.
Glide on over, baby.
Glide on ’til you see.
There’s a thousand cars around here,
They’re all aiming straight at me.
Speed on over, baby.
Speed up as you drive.
I saw a sign back over,
That says go sixty-five.
Look on over, baby.
Look across your dash.
There’s a bunch of angry people.
They must have had a crash.
Slide on over, baby.
Slide on to arrive.
By the time they finish building,
I’ll be too old to drive.