Author: kjgilhooly

Respect Your Elders

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Always respect your elders.
Remember their wisdom is available.
Their experiences can help you.
You can learn from them.

I try to remember this.
I ask my elders questions.
With a reverential tone.

Burning questions, like:
“Why do you have real stock certificates?”
“Are you sure you don’t want a paperless statement?”
“How can too many people friend you on Facebook?”
“You still have AOL?”

Perhaps I’m not being respectful enough,
Since I usually don’t get a happy answer.
I’m sorry. I just wondered.
I will rephrase the question.

For my children, before you ask,
AOL is to Facebook as Pong is to Mortal Kombat.
If you’ve never heard of Pong, Google it.
Or, ask your history teacher.
If you’ve never heard of AOL, look in grandpa’s attic.
There’s probably a few dozen of their CDs up there.

Conversation

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Your drink is dry,
The plates are gone,
You haven’t seen a waiter
In oh so very long.

The lights start flashing,
There’s nobody else around.
The waitress has her shirt untucked,
You can’t hear another sound.

Maybe you should check your watch.
Time passes in a wink.
If all the staff looks annoyed,
It’s later than you think.

Tardy Slip

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

I’m not going to let it bother me.
So, we’re just a little late.
It doesn’t really matter much.
I’m still feeling great.

No, I’m not.
I lied a bit back there.
We’re running very late again,
And I’m pulling out my hair.

I wish it didn’t bother me.
Just wandering in whenever.
It’s just it makes me crazy,
Being late forever.

Is it really hard to be on time?
I’ve done it now for years,
But some are just incapable,
They’re causing all my tears.

I guess there’s just one way out,
Besides just going out alone.
Just lie about the starting time,
And hurry out from home.

The only other thing to do,
When you find you’re really stressed,
Is to set all your clocks to Central time,
Even though you’re in the West.

Discussion

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Telling me I’m wrong,
Doesn’t make you right.
No matter how many times you tell me.

The louder you talk,
The harder it is to hear.
Mainly, because I’m ignoring you.

So, calm down.
Let’s start over again.
Just remember, I’m right.
(Just kidding.)

Walking Blues

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

For Warren and Rocky

I’m so sad and lonely,
I don’t know what to do.
I’m walking ’round in circles,
‘Cause my puppy stole my shoe.

I’m going barefoot now,
It’s almost more than I can handle.
I’ve stubbed my toes all over,
‘Cause a Chihuahua has my sandal.

Up and down I’m fallin’,
It’s the only way I feel.
Up and down all over,
‘Cause I only have one heel.

I’m limpin’ back to Memphis.
I’m so sad and blue.
I’m limpin’ back to Memphis,
‘Cause I only have one shoe.

Wardrobe

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Down the hall,
The Chihuahua flew,
Mom close behind,
Yelling, “Where’s my shoe?”

Out in the yard,
The Cocker licked his paw.
Out came Mom,
Yelling, “Where’s my bra?”

From within a crate,
The Terrier attacks.
Dad has clothes for Church,
Since he has holy slacks.

Editor’s Note: The shoe is still missing. Any information gratefully accepted.

Wondering

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

We have a Cocker Spaniel.
His name is Murphy.
Murphy is chocolate colored,
With blonde tendencies.

Still, Spaniels are intelligent.
They were bred to retrieve.
Hunters would hunt woodcocks,
Cockers would bring them back.

So, Cockers have good eyes,
The ability to find small items,
And a soft mouth to carry it.

(Murphy actually has bad eyes,
And he can’t find much,
But still.)

I don’t have any woodcocks handy.
There aren’t any dead birds in the yard.
Plus, Rocky would get to dead birds first.

So, I thought Murphy could be retrained.
Yet, he refuses to bring me coffee.
Maybe if I get a bird-shaped mug.

My Opinion

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

If you ask for my opinion,
I will share it. Freely.
It will not be what I think you want to hear.

If you ask for my opinion,
You will get what I think.
This is probably not what you are thinking.

If you ask for my opinion,
I will tell you why you are wrong.
It’s free. No extra charge.

If you ask for my opinion,
Don’t.

Peppers

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Crushed red pepper,
Magic flakes.
I ate so much,
My tummy aches.

Pepper brings
A little heat,
To pasta, veggies,
Even meat.

Flakes of joy,
A Chef’s dear friend.
Yet they can bring
A most bitter end.