Teamless Lead

June 11, 2013 ~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

I am a team lead.
It should be “leader”,
But it’s not.
I lead a crack team of experts.
However, my team is now just me.

How is this possible?
It’s called a re-org.
A re-org is when people are shuffled.
Like cards in a deck,
We are mixed up into a new order.

Why?

That is a question for leaders above me.
Team leads don’t shuffle the deck.
They play the hand they’re dealt.

So, I have a team of one.
Me.

This sounds like an adventure movie.
However, it’s set in an office,
And I’m not Bruce Willis,
So there’s not a lot of adventure.

If this re-org doesn’t work,
I will have a team back.
It may be the same or
It may be different.

I just play the hand that’s dealt me.

The Attic

June 10, 2013 ~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

The attic was a magical place,
Where all of your past was stored.
If you didn’t want to toss it,
Up to the attic it went.

Of course, in some regions,
It was down to the basement, instead.
It depends on where you live.

Then again, if you’re scared to go in the attic,
Or you don’t have a basement,
You might use the garage.

I fear I’m getting off track.

Now, everything is going digital.
So, photos and albums aren’t in the attic.
They’re on your hard drive.
Hopefully.

If you don’t have a good filing system,
And I certainly don’t,
Then, your hard drive is a magical place.
You never know what you might find.

As long as you don’t find love letters
From someone who’s not in your house,
There is no telling what you share.

I found our late budgie’s first record.
Well, it’s not really a record,
It’s just a bunch of MP3s.
Still, it’s more than I ever recorded.

So, look around your hard drive.
You never know what you may find.
I hope it’s magical.

—————————-

Here’s Basil’s first record, for your listening pleasure. He didn’t write particularly long songs, but then again, he was a budgie.

[soundcloud url=”http://api.soundcloud.com/playlists/6582852″ params=”” width=” 100%” height=”450″ iframe=”true” /]

Time is Relative

June 9, 2013 ~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

An hour is always sixty minutes,
But the minutes seem to be different lengths.
I’m sure there’s a logical explanation,
But if there is physics involved, I’m lost.

Consider these scenarios:
There’s an hour before you leave for work.
Whoosh! Where did that hour go?
There’s an hour before you leave for home.
Tick. Tick. Tick. Freakin’ Tick. Tick. Tick.

So, this is probably a relativity issue,
But as I said, physics is not my forte.
I know e = mc^2 but that’s energy and mass.
Why didn’t Einstein work on something critical?

So, I would say pm = am * pa^2, as in
Your perceived minutes are
Actual minutes times potential annoyance, squared.
As potential annoyance approaches infinity,
Your time will stand still.

This has been tested in various meetings at work,
And by listening to people talk about their vacations.
I didn’t test by having someone talk about religion,
Because I didn’t have the time.

Morning Commute

June 8, 2013 ~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

To the tune of “Frere Jacques”

Road construction. Road construction.
LBJ. LBJ.
Seems to last forever. Seems to last forever.
In my way. In my way.

Diuretic, Diuretic
Makes you pee, Makes you pee.
Now I’m stuck in traffic, Now I’m stuck in traffic.
Woe is me. Woe is me.

6-4-3

June 7, 2013 ~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

We spend a lot of time
Dwelling on the offense.
Who’s close to a thousand yards?
Who’s got the highest slugging average?

Offense scores points, and points win games.
So, naturally, we get obsessed.
This is wrong.

Sometimes, we should look at the other side.
Defense may seem boring at first.
All it does is prevent points.

However, preventing points helps win, too.
Just ask companies that cut costs
Instead of raising sales.

Some defense can win games.
Say, a double play in the ninth.
You’re out! You’re out, too!

It’s even more beautiful than a home run.
Maybe because there are more people involved.
A home run slugger stands alone.
A double play requires teamwork.

Hot Potato

June 6, 2013 ~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

This sounds like a wonderful project!
I’m sure that it will work out splendidly.
In fact, I know just the person to help you with it.

He’s not available at the moment,
But I know he will be happy to jump on it.
I will send you his email with an intro,
So you should feel free to call him anytime.

I will just get out of the way now,
Since I don’t want to impede your progress.
This sounds like a critical project,
So I want the right people on it.

I’m glad I could help!

Conference Calls

June 5, 2013 ~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

A conference call is a lonely place.
Since it’s all on the phone,
Not face to face.

At least you can do other crap.
While this may sound rude,
It’s more useful than a nap.

You can’t just drop the line,
Since there will be a beep,
And that’s an obvious sign.

You should put your phone on mute.
In case you loudly snore,
Or play the flute.

Just listen for your name,
Always be ready to reply,
Or you will get the blame.

Desperation

June 4, 2013 ~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Six-hour meeting.
Just shoot me now.
I have to survive it.
I’m just not sure how.

Baseball

June 3, 2013 ~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Twenty-seven outs per team.
It’s what you do between them,
That’s what matters.

I appreciate a sport that has
A playbook that says,
“Hit it where they ain’t”.

At our local minor league park,
The umpires’ introductions?
Sponsored by the Lions Club.
(Go Google what they do. It’s hilarious.)

Baseball is a sport anyone can play,
And statisticians all adore.
Someday, I will write a thesis
On the linear relationship
Between beer and runs batted in.

The fans’ beer at the game or the team’s beer from the night before.
I assume one would be
An inverse relationship.

Baseball is.
Baseball was.
Baseball shall be.
The rest is horseshit.

Thanks, Joseph!