My whining dogs both had to pee.
So I got up to set them free.
I felt my little foot go snap.
I said a loud and painful “Crap!”
In all the years that I have grown,
I never had a broken bone.
Now, I think that I have four.
It may be that or even more.
We had to skip our Springtime cruise.
Because my foot was full of screws.
To think that one little slip
Made me miss a weeklong trip.
So, I’m waiting in the ER tonight.
I got the feeling that something ain’t right.
I’m so scared I have a fever and cough.
I’m hoping drugs can just get me off.
Coughs to the left of me,
Fever to the right.
Here I am stuck in the middle with you.
Well, I’m stuck in the middle with you.
And I’m hoping that it’s not Wuhan flu.
It’s so hard to keep my hands from my face.
And I want to puke all over the place.
Coughs to the left of me,
Fever to the right.
Here I am stuck in the middle with you.
Well, you started out with nothing,
Till you took a cruise ship to Japan.
Now, the doctors all come calling,
Slap you on the back and say,
Breathe.
Breathe.
Trying to make some sense of it all.
My wife shows no symptoms at all.
Is it cool to just pass out on the floor?
‘Cause I don’t that I can take any more.
Coughs to the left of me.
Fever to the right.
Here I am stuck in the middle with flu.
(with deepest apologies to Stealer’s Wheel)
Daddy said, “It’s time to fly!”
I did not know it’s do or die.
I heard the coffee start to perk,
Then he and Mom went off to work.
Today, I left my little bed.
I fell and cracked my little head.
As I tried to clear my brain,
Help appeared to stop my pain.
A Chihuahua stopped to render aid.
He picked me up from where I laid.
I heard his Dad yell, “Rocky, NO!”
Why won’t he let him help me so?
Ouch. I feel teeth upon my back.
I think I may become a snack.
Wait. He dropped me on the grass.
His Dad just saved my feathered ass.
Some lady put me in a box.
She took me quickly, like a fox.
Wait. Fox is not the best example.
Foxes also like a bird to sample.
The lady put me outside the fence.
I’m starting to regain my sense.
I wonder how I get back home.
I should fly and not just roam.
I don’t know where I go from here.
At least there is no dog to fear.
I have a pain all through my head.
The lesson? Don’t get out of bed.
Editor’s Note: And so another edition of NaPoWriMo comes to a close. Thirty days, thirty poems. No guarantees on quality. If my wife likes three of them, it’s a good year – which is why so many were about our Chihuahua.
Another year is closing down,
I think I may head out of town.
Thirty days of writing poems.
I hope they all will find good homes.
Some I thought were pretty good.
Some (like this) are just dead wood.
I hope to see you all next year.
If you miss me, shed a tear.
Turkey!
Ham!
Mayo!
Pickles!
Onions!
Pita!
That’s a wrap!
I want it heard across the nation!
I am dying of starvation!
And I only had sixteen hours of sleep.
My parents say they need me,
But they never seem to feed me.
At least never more than twice a day.
I’m lying softly on their bed,
Waiting desperately to be fed.
And now, I think I have to pee.
I need this door unlocked.
I’ve knocked and knocked and knocked.
My paws can’t turn this stupid handle.
I’ll just go back to sleep.
I won’t even make a peep.
No-one knows the pain I’m in.
Sigh.
Editor’s Note: Blind John Ellsworth is dedicated to animal welfare, and wants all pets to be safe. So, it pains him to see reports of neighbors “losing” pets because they are left outside unattended — or worse, are “outside” pets. So, here’s a reminder.
There is a majestic old owl.
He patrols when the skies are black.
I thought he was looking for Tootsie-Pops,
But I think he’s looking for a snack.
When the wind is low,
Behind my bungalow.
I can hear the owl’s song.
If you know it, sing along.
Who let the dogs out?
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Burp.
Are we there yet?
I just so love being in the car.
Houston now seems very far.
We’ve been there other times before.
Each time it’s south-er even more.
I really wish you’d let me drive.
I can’t deal with all this right-lane jive.
My eyelids are about to drop.
I think I need a Buc-ee’s stop.
The GPS says two hours to go.
That I didn’t need to know.
Are we there yet?
Accounting is finally done.
Except for the final exam.
So, I will say once again,
Oh, how I hate Accounting.
Accounting is just basic math.
Accounting class is calculus.
Calculus as in:
As pages approach the end of the book,
Chances of napping approach infinity.
I do not like credits and debits.
I do not like them, Sam I Am.
This should all be in a red font.
Because it is extremely negative.
I almost missed today.
I have no time to play.
Work led me astray.
My hair is turning grey.
Perhaps another day.
I have a little green dog.
He sits on a log.
He enjoys going swimming.
He’s really a frog.
I have a black cat.
She hangs from my hat.
She enjoys our spelunking.
She’s really a bat.