Responsorial Psalm

Today’s psalm is from Meetings, 9am – 10am.

Our response is: “Hey! Great idea, boss!”

“I see that our standing committee has not provided any input for efficiencies. I have decided to terminate the committee.”

R: “Hey! Great idea, boss!”

“Since the committee failed, we will split the members into three working groups, who can each meet twice a week.”

R: “Hey! Great idea, boss!”

“With six times as many meetings, we are bound to find ways to be more efficient even more quickly than before.”

R: “Hey! Great idea, boss!”

Let us pray.

Time Passing

I have a seven am meeting.
I have a meeting at nine.
I have another at ten,
At least that one is mine.

I have a meeting at one.
I have a meeting at two.
Last one at nine in the evening.
I wish it weren’t true.

Web conferences bring us closer,
Of this I make no bones,
It’s just they don’t solve the issue
Of our pesky time zones.

Organization

I keep my email in folders.
It helps organize my day.
There are some I need forever.
There are some I throw away.

Some folders are very full.
Some only have a few.
It depends on the workload.
It depends on what I do.

So, if you have your own folder,
Beyond a project or a task.
A folder dedicated to just you,
You’re probably a pain in the ass.

Sleep

If I could sleep at night,
As well as I sleep through
These stupid, endless meetings.
I would be well-rested, indeed.

Maybe that’s why meetings are recorded.
You can listen to the playback at bedtime.
Then, you can gently nod off to sleep.

I’m getting sleepy just thinking about it.

The Texas Volunteers

Hats off to the Texas Volunteers!
They’ve been marching on for many years.
They rose up when they heard the call,
They came together, one and all.

Patrolling someone’s vast estate
A mission that became their fate.
Keeping watch from some tall tower,
Often drenched by a sudden shower.

There was never a bet they couldn’t make.
There was never a chance they wouldn’t take.
They often find themselves at disadvantage,
Yet I’ve become their collateral damage.

I fight with the Texas Volunteers,
With Texas sand between their ears.
They take every job that they can see,
But then they always stop to ask “Why me?”

 

Obama Kool-Aid

I don’t know about you,
But I never drank Obama Kool-Aid.
I’m glad I didn’t.

First of all,
Some misunderstood youth
Stole the flavor packets
From a grocery store.

The water was all donated,
But it might have lead in it,
So drink around it,
Or just hold your nose.

The volunteer women who mix it,
Deserve at least $15 per hour,
And they keep using their penises
To stir it all up.

Luckily, the recipe is on the packet.
Since the White House recipe was lost.
It was securely mailed to Hillary,
And she kept it on her server.

The other big problem so far,
Is that the ice keeps melting,
But not nearly as fast as people predicted.
Scientists are examining this.

The original price was forty-nine cents
And that was for a sixteen-ounce glass.
But, with the amount of people each glass supports,
It’s now seven thousand dollars for six ounces.

Seven thousand dollars is a lot for a drink,
But luckily, there are people who don’t want it,
So they will pay for yours.
They deserve to pay for yours.

You can have any flavor you want,
As long as you want cherry.
Remember, dead Chicagoans prefer it
Two to one over any other beverage.

You have to use a special glass.
You might have been told you could use your glass,
But that was incorrect.
The government will sell you the glass.

If you’ve drunk the Kool-Aid,
You may want to brush your teeth.

Committees

I was getting work done.
It was difficult, but doable.
Then, I got a co-worker.
Now, work was a bit easier.

We split the task in two.
He did half and I did half.
We just had to compare notes.
Making sure the halves fit together.

Then, we got a couple more people.
Now, work would go really fast!
We each only did a quarter.
It just took longer to make the pieces fit.

So, we got a manager to watch over us.
His job was to make sure the pieces fit.
He would talk to each of us every day.
This started taking up valuable time.

So, we started having team meetings.
We had weekly meetings at first.
This was a place to discuss progress.
We would talk about how the pieces all fit.

Progress seemed slower than at first.
So, we started having daily meetings.
Now, we were talking about why pieces didn’t fit.
This did not seem as positive as before.

Apparently, the daily meetings didn’t work.
So, we got a project manager.
He worked for the manager.
His job was to make sure the meetings fit.

When the meetings took even more time,
Since we had to explain everything to the project manager,
We got a technical consultant to help us.
He was going to make the pieces fit like they did at other places.

He said we needed to stand up at the meetings.
Successful companies can’t afford chairs, I guess.
Now, the meetings would go slightly faster,
But we still seemed to be working more slowly.

We sure are in a lot of meetings.

I miss working by myself.

Divorce

A home is a house full of love.
Where two hearts become one.
Togetherness building strength.

A home is a house full of love.
Where happy families grow.
Loving memories are built.

A home is a house full of love.
So, what we have now is a house.
I’m so out of here.