Death and Taxes

I prefer death.

(What? Too short?)

We should be able to
Earmark our tax dollars.
Pick the programs you need.
Pay for what you believe in.

Pick what you want.
Pay for what sounds sexy.
Defund the wasteful.
(Since Congress won’t.)

I bet NASA and the military
Would get fully funded
(from the fly-over states.)
We like guns and astronauts.

Welfare would get slashed,
Because people in power
Just want to help the poor
With your money,
Not with their own.

We’d have less bridges to nowhere.
We’d have less weird studies.
We might have more security.
We might get out of debt.

Do you know why they passed an amendment
For the government to collect income taxes?
Because only an idiot would give
The government his money voluntarily.

Retirement

I don’t have to go to the office.
I don’t have to read email.
I don’t have any meetings.
No projects today will fail.

I can spend time with my honey.
I can spend time with my dogs.
I would spend time with them,
But they’re all snoring like logs.

I’ve had four cups of coffee.
I had a piece of cake.
I’m trying to keep busy,
But it’s hard to stay awake.

Years of changing bosses,
Always fearing getting fired.
Six hours into retirement,
Do you think I can get rehired?

Drought

I got nothin’.
Day 3 and blank.
A new low.

I would write about money,
But that’s just depressing.

I could talk about work,
But that’s just stressing.

I could remember growing up,
But I’m still repressing.

I could talk about God,
And ask His blessing.

(I could talk about the Ranch,
But that’s just dressing.)

Maybe blank wasn’t so bad.

Hondo

I’m walking home from Hondo,
Without a penny to my name,
Just trying to reach D’Hanis,
Before I pull up lame.

I sold my horse at auction
Threw the saddle in the deal.
Then, I sold my F250,
So I could buy my kids a meal.

I’m walking home from Hondo,
Just trying to bear the pain.
If you want to ease my walking, Lord,
Just send me down some rain.

Inspiration

Moments that haunt you.
Whether or not you belong.
Times you can’t remember.
When you barely got along.

Inspiration strikes at random,
It never last too long.
Yet, sad, drunk or horny
Are the keys to write a song.

Religion Blues

Jesus is my Savior,
Since no-one else applied.
Nuns taught me how He lived,
Priests told me how He died.

I used to read the Bible,
The Good Book, so they say.
I found it on a CD,
So, in my car, I’d pray.

I wonder if He watches me,
How I daily live my life.
I hope I make Him happy,
I don’t want to cause Him strife.

Someday, I will meet Him.
Maybe even meet his Dad.
I guess I’ll have to wait and see.
I’d better not be bad.

Ellie’s Song

I’m gonna drool
‘Till I go to school.
Then, I’m gonna drool
Some more.

I’m gonna drool
Sitting on my stool,
‘Till there’s puddles
On the floor.

Drool cleans the dirt
On my Grandpa’s shirt.
But it leaves a mess
On Grandma’s dress.

So, I’m gonna drool
‘Till I go to school,
‘Cause while droolin’
I’m the best.

Turkey Day Blues

It’s Thanksgiving,
And I’m so blue.
I wanted that drumstick,
Mom gave it to you.

I’m chewing on turkey,
It’s dry to the bone.
I need some more gravy,
Or I’m going home.

I’m having my dessert,
Some great pecan pie.
It makes up for the green beans.
The onions made me cry.

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!