Random Thoughts

Writer’s Block

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Well, it’s been over a month, 
So it was bound to happen sometime.
Writer’s Block.

I have no ideas today.
It may be that I need a nap.
Maybe I ate too much pizza.

Whatever.

I was going to write about aspirin.
How it solves many problems.
That’s how blocked I am.

How does it enlarge arteries
And fix headaches or backaches,
And know which one to do when taken? 

After that, I was thinking about a friend of mine
Who may need back surgery. 
I was told he needs work on his L4. 
That’s medical-speak for some bone.

At the Italian place we had lunch,
L4 is Spaghetti and Meatballs. 

I don’t think spaghetti
Would be a good replacement
For a human vertebra. 
Just sayin’. 

So, I may not write anything today.
However, I just wrote that I may not write anything, 
So that’s something. 

Is that irony? 

Tomorrow, I will have a better idea.
Or, I will have to put out a greatest hits album.
That’s the other solution to a well of ideas run dry.
However, it requires having hits.
Sigh.

I’d better start thinking about tomorrow. 

Genius

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

My wife is a genius.

She adopted a dog.
(Rescue, don’t buy.)
She is a crazy dog.
Doesn’t listen.
Doesn’t behave.

So, she needs training.
Lots of it.
More than a normal dog.

Or …

(Here’s the genius part.)

You adopt an even crazier dog.
Now, the crazy dog seems almost normal.
Yay, wife!

Sleep

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

It’s a quiet morning.
Everyone got up for a potty break.
Then, everyone went back to bed.
Everyone except me.

I can’t.

Once I’m awake, that’s it.
I stay awake.
My wife says the same thing.
I will remind her when she wakes up.
For the second or third time today.

My dogs appreciate my not going back to sleep.
Then, they can inherit my side of the bed.
Secretly, they try to wake my wife.
Half a king size bed is not enough space,
If there is a whole one available
For the price of a couple of licks and growls.

So, instead of sleep, I drink coffee
To the sound of a snoring Shih-Tzu
Who is too short to get on the bed.
She has a pillow. She’s happy.

I would like to sleep like my dogs.
Instantly. Any time. Anywhere.
Give a dog a pillow and he’s out.
Hell, give a dog a floor and he’s out.

They are storing energy for when it’s needed.
There is going to be a major crisis someday.
At least we will have stored dog energy against it.
Whatever the crisis may be.

If dogs could talk,
If you asked a question,
Any question at all,
The answer would probably be,
“Let me sleep on it.”

Ping

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

“Ping” goes the computer.
All bloody day long.
It means I have new email.
That little one-note song.

I haven’t heard it for weeks.
My computer stayed at home.
I didn’t really miss it.
It was quiet while I roamed.

Now, it’s back.
Back with a vengeance, I’d say.
I’m going to have to mute the speakers.
I’ll turn the volume back Monday.

Back on the Chain Gang

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Yesterday, 146,000 gross tons of metal became the Norwegian Breakaway.
(The metal was assembled in 73 blocks. I learned that onboard.)
This seems really strange, since we have been sailing on her for a week.
Still, technicalities are important at sea, and now she has been christened.
Now, she is a ship.
We were just on a test drive.

It was an interesting week. A fun week. A long and short week.
I never got seasick. I was a bit queasy in the “fresh gale” winds.
(If you feel queasy sailing, go outside, look at the horizon and breathe.)

Now, I’m home.
I’m going to work today.
I was home yesterday, even though I tried to catch up on work.
Reading emails all day. Trying to fix the home mail server.
I was bad and skipped my one meeting.
Shoot me.

Still, a long day staring at the screen.
It’s easier on the eyes to stare at the ocean.
Or a daiquiri.

So, now I’m on solid ground.
Nothing rocks me to sleep any more.
I don’t walk like I’m drunk.
(OK, maybe I was drunk.)

Still, the queasiness remains.
I think I’m landsick.

Vacation End

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

A vacation used to end when Dad said,
“Let’s get in the car. We’re late.”

Then, the end was when a flight attendant said,
“Would you like another Scotch? We’re landing in fifteen minutes.”

Later, vacation’s end was your wife asking,
“Are you going to help pack or just sit there?”

On a cruise, the vacation ends when you say,
“Wait. I need to get my wallet out of the safe.”

Lessons Learned

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Never say “I never get seasick.”
Unless you are near a restroom.

When you get home and drive back to work,
Your rush hour speed will be the same as the ship’s.

You can easily over-eat at the buffet.
This can be avoided by over-drinking.

In a group of thousands of passengers,
You will see the same ten over and over.

If a red light is on by the restroom door,
You can meet someone by opening it.
(They may not want to meet you.)

If your fruit juice tastes funny,
Somebody forgot the rum.

If you are not within sight of a bar or restaurant,
You are overboard. Call for help.

Atlantic Crossing

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Waves crashing around me.
It’s the water in the pool.
Maybe this isn’t that bad a storm.

In olden times,
Knots on a rope measured speed.
Meat was salted for preservation.
Sailors wore earrings to pay for  funerals.

It’s different these days.
They have refrigerators
If you forgot an earring,
Check the sale at the gift shop.
The Captain still uses knots, though.

Jimmy Buffett looked at the sea
When he turned forty.
He was a pirate, two hundred years too late.
So are all the bankers and dentists
That go to his concerts.
Actually, they’re just getting drunk.

I am not a pirate, unfortunately.
I am not even a sailor.
I’m just along for the ride,
And waiting for a margarita.
Wrong Jimmy Buffett song.