Country Song

I want to write a country song.
I hope all y’all will sing along.

My wife left for good yesterday,
My girlfriend didn’t like her anyway.
I walking around in a fog.
Worse, she took my hunting dog.

I sang a song to all my cows,
Then, I took a couple bows.
They seemed to like the song,
Some even tried to moo along.

Lost At Sea

“I can still see the ship!”
“I’m sure they will wait.”
Then it sailed away.

“We will sue them!”
“This is an outrage!”
Read your contract.

“Wow. I missed my plane.”
“That’s on me.”
Yes, yes it is.

“Wow. I missed my cruise.”
“That’s their fault.”
Pretend it’s a plane.