Insomnia

Every single night,
Between the dusk and dawn.
I wake up with a fright,
To find my lover gone.

Is she visiting the bathroom?
Did she go to poop or pee?
If so, she’ll be back soon.
Flushed with victory.

Could she not fall asleep?
Did she move to the recliner?
Did she find another cabin?
Am I on an ocean liner?

Did she go to walk the dog?
I heard no toenails on the floor.
Did she leave for someone else?
Does she not love me anymore?

Did she flee to see her sister?
Did I do something wrong?
That’s probably not the answer,
She wasn’t gone that long.

Did she need a midnight snack?
Perhaps she’s feeling yucky.
Was she murdered in her sleep?
I would never be that lucky.

It’s A Dog’s Life

Rocky

You don’t understand me at all.

Hey! Listen to me!
I’m trying to tell you something important.
I forgot.

Time to go out.
Why am I in the yard?
Time to come in.

I’m starving.
Wow. I’m full.
Is there more?

Skritch me.
Skritch me.
Why are you touching me?

Stranger! Stranger! Stran.. Oh, it’s Mom.
I’m sleepy.

Stranger! Stranger! Stran.. Oh, it’s Dad.
I’ll finish my nap.

Time to go out.
Nevermind.
Cleanup on aisle three.

I’m just a bit hungry.
Why did you wake me up?
Is there food?

Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad? Dad?
Nevermind.

Grandma said you have to share your steak.
I’m waiting.
This slipper tastes like steak, I think.

Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom?
Nevermind.

I’m starving again.
Not now, I’m napping.

Can I have a snack?

Quarantine Learning

While we are all here on lockdown,
Just sitting at home has lost its thrills.
So, I am working on self-improvement.
I am taking the time to increase my skills.

Last week, I studied to be a mob boss.
I learned to show no mercy.
Now, I have to find my associates.
I just don’t want to move to Jersey.

This week, I learned to be a King.
Assuming it’s like being a Queen.
I will kindly rule my Empire,
I need a crown and some caffeine.

Today, I learned to run a crab boat.
“Captain” has been on my bucket list.
Now, I just need to get a boat.
Then, I have a crew to enlist.

I was learning to be a survivor,
But it didn’t last too long.
It’s just office committee politics,
Where the weak outvote the strong.

Next week, I’ll run a rescue,
Although it may be life or death.
It doesn’t sound too difficult,
I hear you need tigers and some meth.


Sixty

Raise a glass, shed a tear, I’m getting old, the end is near.

Happy Birthday to me.
I’ll just watch some TV.
We’re all still on lockdown.
Happy Birthday to me.

I planned a little birthday trip,
It would’ve been quite fun.
Now, we’re quarantined at home,
The trip has been undone.

Sixty will be a Facetime birthday.
“It’s fun!”, my dear wife said.
I’ll see my brother’s smiling face,
And the top of my Mom’s head.

Happy Birthday to me.
I loathe Twenty-Twenty.
I’m going stir-crazy,
Happy Birthday to me.