Never say “I never get seasick.”
Unless you are near a restroom.
When you get home and drive back to work,
Your rush hour speed will be the same as the ship’s.
You can easily over-eat at the buffet.
This can be avoided by over-drinking.
In a group of thousands of passengers,
You will see the same ten over and over.
If a red light is on by the restroom door,
You can meet someone by opening it.
(They may not want to meet you.)
If your fruit juice tastes funny,
Somebody forgot the rum.
If you are not within sight of a bar or restaurant,
You are overboard. Call for help.
Waves crashing around me.
It’s the water in the pool.
Maybe this isn’t that bad a storm.
In olden times,
Knots on a rope measured speed.
Meat was salted for preservation.
Sailors wore earrings to pay for funerals.
It’s different these days.
They have refrigerators
If you forgot an earring,
Check the sale at the gift shop.
The Captain still uses knots, though.
Jimmy Buffett looked at the sea
When he turned forty.
He was a pirate, two hundred years too late.
So are all the bankers and dentists
That go to his concerts.
Actually, they’re just getting drunk.
I am not a pirate, unfortunately.
I am not even a sailor.
I’m just along for the ride,
And waiting for a margarita.
Wrong Jimmy Buffett song.