National Poetry Writing Month (April)
There’s a ship off in the distance.
Sailing westward as she goes.
We’re still heading eastbound,
As the time begins to slow.
A lonely ship is all I see,
There must be others keeping pace.
Just two ships in the ocean
Doesn’t seem a likely case.
I know the Atlantic is vast,
But I’m just a bit amazed
How much time we seem to be alone,
While churning through the waves.
Floating out at sea,
Searching every deck,
Exploring every corner.
Seeking out the Poop Deck,
Damn Furosemide.
A slot pull is a way to become rich.
That is the theory.
Actually, it’s the co-ed softball
of the casino.
In co-ed softball,
When the team loses,
The men say
The women hit like girls.
The women say
The men are all frustrated jocks.
Everyone laughes.
In a slot pull,
Instead of losing money alone,
You lose it on a team.
We turned $15 each into $7 each!
Now, this may seem like we
Each lost 8 bucks.
However, if everyone had shown up,
And if someone would have played left-handed,
We’d all be millionaires.
Everyone laughes.
It was a Dark and Stormy night …
Quite literally.
We had Goslings Rum and ginger beer.
It was tasty.
My name is Bob,
And I’m a can.
Just an aluminum tube,
That distributes stuff.
I’ve carried good beer
To Germany and Australia,
I’ve carried weak beer
All over the USA.
I took sweet tea to Raliegh,
I took wine to San Jose.
I took soda everywhere.
So, lots of good contents
Went to lots of places.
It’s basically the same job,
But adapted to changing needs.
But my new bosses hate recycling.
They’re allergic to all old cans.
They only want new aluminum,
And they like imported, not domestic.
So, I’ve been trashed.
Kicked to the curb.
I can still carry things,
But I’m not good enough anymore.
It was fun while it lasted.
I just don’t understand.
If your customers are in the USA,
Why are your cans in India?
Sailing back to Europe,
Losing an hour almost every day.
This is what causes the ugky American.
We’re sleep deprived.
Still, I’d rather take two weeks
And be a bit sleep deprived,
Than take ten hours or so,
And be jet-lagged.
On a ship,
You have a cabin.
On a plane,
You have a seat.
Cabins share walls.
These are sometimes thin.
However, seats share armrests,
And these are much thinner.
I never knew a pub crawl
Could be so organized.
Actually, it can’t.
Just pick a starting place.
Might want a starting time.
Then, go have a drink.
Teams will self-organize.
This takes time.
But not much.
Broken clouds early.
Occasional shitstorm.
Same tomorrow.
Almost broke again.
I look a bit green.
The only thing paying off
Is the soda machine.
I’m getting the feeling that
We have a generation that can’t read.
You have to show them graphics – not text,
And it’s really best to have a movie.
I love technology,
But not for it’s own sake.
Let’s not use it just because
The CEO overpaid for it.
If you have something to say,
Just email or call me.
I’ll respond if required.
Don’t send a link to your blog.
If you have an announcement,
Just make it.
Don’t make me watch a video
A week from Tuesday.
Worst of all now days,
Is the video blog,
Where some minor exec
Reads you his email.
The issue with video blogs,
At least for me,
Is that you see how poorly
Some of these people present.
Please send your foils out first.
(I’m old. They’re not slides. They’re foils.)
I will happily read your foils.
Then, I will think to myself,
“How can this take an hour to present?”
When I read someone’s foils,
My usual thought is,
“Wow. That’s an hour I would have wasted.”
Then, I hang up and go back to work.
Here’s the thing people miss these days.
Work is not an action movie.
There is little action at all sometimes.
So why pretend it’s exciting?
If you’re going to pretend it’s exciting,
Let’s have a video game presentation.
Everyone could watch from home,
And interact with the presenter.
Hit the CEO in the nose,
She has to go on to the next slide.
Blow the CEO up,
That’s lunch, everybody!
That could actually be fun.
She couldn’t just stand and read.
Just send me the foils first,
So I know what was supposed to be said.