Wikipedia the Poet

Editor’s Note: The last sentence of the opening section of five random Wikipedia articles, broken into lines. Imagined art.

For the first time since 2007,
and for only the third time
in the Bowl Championship Series era,
no team from an automatic-qualifying
BCS conference finished the
season with an undefeated record.

During that time,
a list of organisms was compiled
which included land and freshwater mollusks.
46 species of snails and slugs 
(non-marine gastropods) were found,
as well as 20 species of freshwater bivalves,
freshwater clams and mussels.

A Perfect Night to Go to China 
is a novel by David Gilmour,
published in 2005.
It won the 2005 Governor General’s Award 
for English-language fiction.

Its population as of
the 2010 Census was 75;
down from 112 recorded
in the 2002 Census.

Aegialeus (Ancient Greek: Αἰγιαλεύς) was
the fifth strategos (elected general)
of the Achaean League in Ancient Greece
who served for only a year, 242–241 BC.

Articles:

  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_NCAA_Division_I_FBS_football_season
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_non-marine_mollusks_of_the_Indiana_Dunes
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Perfect_Night_to_Go_to_China
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuryakh-Kyuyore
  • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aegialeus_(strategos)

A Short Story

Graham Gnome
Graham Gnome

My name is Graham.
I am a Gnome.
I am so bored.
I’m stuck at home.

I want to swim.
I want to surf.
I need a friend.
I’ll date a Smurf.

I am off to sail,
Across the sea.
I need a cruise.
Will you go with me?

That’s a Wrap

Editor’s Note: And so another edition of NaPoWriMo comes to a close. Thirty days, thirty poems. No guarantees on quality. If my wife likes three of them, it’s a good year – which is why so many were about our Chihuahua.

Another year is closing down,
I think I may head out of town.
Thirty days of writing poems.
I hope they all will find good homes.
Some I thought were pretty good.
Some (like this) are just dead wood.
I hope to see you all next year.
If you miss me, shed a tear.

Turkey!
Ham!
Mayo!
Pickles!
Onions!
Pita!
That’s a wrap!

Weather

I am trying to understand weather forecasts.
It is difficult, because there are many sources.
Each of them has a slightly different opinion.
Forecasts are really just opinions.

Also, TV weather is different from others.
TV weather is based on viewing area.
TV signals go a lot farther than ZIP codes,
Or even county lines.

So, when the TV weather guy breaks in,
Just as the killer will be unmasked,
Or the million dollar winner is revealed,
Just as the season is building to a climax…

It may be because you are under immediate threat.
It may also be that three farmers and some goats
Are about to get wet in Southern Oklahoma.

Always check the maps,
I suppose,
Is the lesson here.

Douglas Adams once wrote “Don’t Panic.”
I’m pretty sure he was watching TV at the time.
He was probably in London,
And it was storming in Southampton.

It’s 80 miles from London to Southampton,
Which is 128 kilometers in metric.
This would have been much funnier
If it had been 42 in either.

So it goes.

Here is the easy way to check the weather,
Send the dogs out in the yard.

If they come in wet,
(or don’t go out at all)
It’s raining.

If they come in cold and white,
It’s snowing.

If they go out the back,
And come in through the front door,
(Or get stuck on the roof somehow)
You may have a slight tornado.

Now back to our regular programming,
Already in progress.