Hey, why is my shoe in the living room?
It was in the bedroom just a minute past.
I can’t limp to work in just one shoe.
So, I’m glad I found it at last.

I don’t know,
I didn’t take it.
I never saw it,
I can’t fake it.
It just appeared next to me.

This pen has traveled a long way.
It’s home is on the kitchen table,
And now it’s on the office floor.
It crossed the house. How was it able?

I don’t know,
I didn’t take it.
I never saw it,
I can’t fake it.
It just appeared next to me.

Why is my bra is buried in the back yard?
A lonely strap is peeking from the dirt.
It’s tragic that I didn’t know it was dead.
I didn’t even think it was hurt.

I don’t know,
I didn’t take it.
I never saw it,
I can’t fake it.
It just appeared next to me.

I had another verse for this song.
Scratched out on a paper scrap.
It was really funny, too.
Not like the rest of this crap.

I don’t know,
I didn’t take it.
I never saw it,
I can’t fake it.
I am not chewing on it.
No, not I.

I blame the Shih-Tzu.