6-4-3

We spend a lot of time
Dwelling on the offense.
Who’s close to a thousand yards?
Who’s got the highest slugging average?

Offense scores points, and points win games.
So, naturally, we get obsessed.
This is wrong.

Sometimes, we should look at the other side.
Defense may seem boring at first.
All it does is prevent points.

However, preventing points helps win, too.
Just ask companies that cut costs
Instead of raising sales.

Some defense can win games.
Say, a double play in the ninth.
You’re out! You’re out, too!

It’s even more beautiful than a home run.
Maybe because there are more people involved.
A home run slugger stands alone.
A double play requires teamwork.

Mascots Again

So, we met the new mascot last night.
Scout, the big, fat AirHog blob.
He replaced Ace Bacon, the fighter pilot.
Not exactly a trade up.

Scout looks like Dodger.
I was not the only one to notice.
Dodger was a cat, not a hog.
How does a hog look like a cat?

Mascots are all becoming the same.
A triangle shape with a big bottom.
I mean freakin’ huge.

Maybe J-Lo should be a mascot.

Then, add a custom head.
Cat. Pig. Whatever.
I think this is stupid.

Mainly, because my seats are front row.
So, a huge belly-ass combo blocks my view,
While he’s trying to get the back row cheering.

If the back row doesn’t know when to cheer,
Maybe they need remedial baseball classes.
This does not require blocking my view.

I have been to games where there wasn’t a mascot.
True story.
You know what happened?
The players still played the game.

I miss Ace.
But I don’t see the point of mascots.

Mascots

It’s opening day at last.
We’re tied for first in the division.
100 games to go.

It’s a good sign when the controversy
Is what the new mascot’s name will be.

Ace Bacon is retiring.
Goodbye, Ace.
So much for all the bacon jokes.

Who knew a huge grey pig in a flight suit
Might freak out some children?

No matter how bad Ace may be,
He will never be the Amarillo Sox
Banana-penis mascot.

Just Google it.