To the tune of “Frere Jacques”
Road construction. Road construction.
LBJ. LBJ.
Seems to last forever. Seems to last forever.
In my way. In my way.
Diuretic, Diuretic
Makes you pee, Makes you pee.
Now I’m stuck in traffic, Now I’m stuck in traffic.
Woe is me. Woe is me.
We spend a lot of time
Dwelling on the offense.
Who’s close to a thousand yards?
Who’s got the highest slugging average?
Offense scores points, and points win games.
So, naturally, we get obsessed.
This is wrong.
Sometimes, we should look at the other side.
Defense may seem boring at first.
All it does is prevent points.
However, preventing points helps win, too.
Just ask companies that cut costs
Instead of raising sales.
Some defense can win games.
Say, a double play in the ninth.
You’re out! You’re out, too!
It’s even more beautiful than a home run.
Maybe because there are more people involved.
A home run slugger stands alone.
A double play requires teamwork.
This sounds like a wonderful project!
I’m sure that it will work out splendidly.
In fact, I know just the person to help you with it.
He’s not available at the moment,
But I know he will be happy to jump on it.
I will send you his email with an intro,
So you should feel free to call him anytime.
I will just get out of the way now,
Since I don’t want to impede your progress.
This sounds like a critical project,
So I want the right people on it.
I’m glad I could help!
A conference call is a lonely place.
Since it’s all on the phone,
Not face to face.
At least you can do other crap.
While this may sound rude,
It’s more useful than a nap.
You can’t just drop the line,
Since there will be a beep,
And that’s an obvious sign.
You should put your phone on mute.
In case you loudly snore,
Or play the flute.
Just listen for your name,
Always be ready to reply,
Or you will get the blame.
Six-hour meeting.
Just shoot me now.
I have to survive it.
I’m just not sure how.
Twenty-seven outs per team.
It’s what you do between them,
That’s what matters.
I appreciate a sport that has
A playbook that says,
“Hit it where they ain’t”.
At our local minor league park,
The umpires’ introductions?
Sponsored by the Lions Club.
(Go Google what they do. It’s hilarious.)
Baseball is a sport anyone can play,
And statisticians all adore.
Someday, I will write a thesis
On the linear relationship
Between beer and runs batted in.
The fans’ beer at the game or the team’s beer from the night before.
I assume one would be
An inverse relationship.
Baseball is.
Baseball was.
Baseball shall be.
The rest is horseshit.
Thanks, Joseph!
I had a title for this work.
It was short and clever.
The poem flowed from it.
Will I remember it? Ever?
It had to with my dogs.
Or a reflection on life.
Maybe my house.
Possibly the wife.
Someday, I’ll remember it.
I’m sure it will come back.
I’m pretty sure it’s brilliant.
I’ll be back on track.
It finally happened.
After writing something
Every day since April,
I missed a day.
Hey, I was traveling.
I was tired.
I was blocked.
Ok, I forgot.
So, back at it today.
My apologies.