Thinking of all the times in my life.
There’s early.
There’s on time.
Then, there’s the wife.
Author: kjgilhooly
Strings
I found an old guitar,
Up in the attic at my Mom’s.
She said it was my Grandpa’s.
He would play it on the lawn.
I never knew he had one.
I never knew he played.
Yet, I could almost hear him,
As I saw the strings were frayed.
I took it from the attic,
I had it cleaned and tuned.
I tried to learn to play it.
I wanted music to resume.
I wonder if he wrote a song.
I wonder what he played.
I’d like to sing it with him.
My memories ceased to fade.
When you’re listening to a concert,
Watching some now famous star,
You should think about his Grandpa.
And wonder if he played guitar.
Time Passing
I have a seven am meeting.
I have a meeting at nine.
I have another at ten,
At least that one is mine.
I have a meeting at one.
I have a meeting at two.
Last one at nine in the evening.
I wish it weren’t true.
Web conferences bring us closer,
Of this I make no bones,
It’s just they don’t solve the issue
Of our pesky time zones.
Goals
I want to be a travel agent.
Move my bosses to and fro.
I would schedule all their trips.
I could tell them where to go.
I want to be a pharmacist.
Filling bottles gives me thrills.
I would refill all your prescriptions,
And bring my wife some happy pills.
I want to be a pirate.
Sail across the seven seas.
With a Chihuahua for a parrot.
He’s balanced on my knees.
I want to be a lumberjack.
Wait, that one’s been done.
Organization
I keep my email in folders.
It helps organize my day.
There are some I need forever.
There are some I throw away.
Some folders are very full.
Some only have a few.
It depends on the workload.
It depends on what I do.
So, if you have your own folder,
Beyond a project or a task.
A folder dedicated to just you,
You’re probably a pain in the ass.
Progress
When I was young,
The only excuse we used
Was “I forgot.”
Later, we graduated
To more exciting excuses,
Like “The dog ate my homework.”
Now, we’re on Wifi all the time,
So, we have rather bizarre excuses,
As in, “The squirrels chewed through the line.”
File this under “Sad But True.”
If you live in a old-tree cul de sac,
There are a lot of squirrels.
Squirrels chew trees,
And things that look like trees.
Phone lines look like trees.
Either that, or we have squirrels
Who are hooked on insulation.
Really? Find a new drug.
Anyway, they chew the insulation.
That leaves holes everywhere.
Everything works, until water gets into the lines.
The insulation is what stops the water.
So, every time we have a decent rainstorm,
The lines get wet and the phone stops.
This is only a problem from March until June.
So, it’s really not worth complaining about.
It’s not like I have to use the Internet for work.
So, the entire house is down.
No phone, Internet or TV.
I guess I’ll read a book.
I hate squirrels.
Sleep
If I could sleep at night,
As well as I sleep through
These stupid, endless meetings.
I would be well-rested, indeed.
Maybe that’s why meetings are recorded.
You can listen to the playback at bedtime.
Then, you can gently nod off to sleep.
I’m getting sleepy just thinking about it.
The Texas Volunteers
Hats off to the Texas Volunteers!
They’ve been marching on for many years.
They rose up when they heard the call,
They came together, one and all.
Patrolling someone’s vast estate
A mission that became their fate.
Keeping watch from some tall tower,
Often drenched by a sudden shower.
There was never a bet they couldn’t make.
There was never a chance they wouldn’t take.
They often find themselves at disadvantage,
Yet I’ve become their collateral damage.
I fight with the Texas Volunteers,
With Texas sand between their ears.
They take every job that they can see,
But then they always stop to ask “Why me?”
Me
I have a house,
I have a wife.
I have a happy, happy life.
(Oy vey.)
I have some dogs,
A girl and three boys.
They make a lot of noisy noise.
(A lot. Trust me.)
I eat too much,
My doctor won’t be quiet.
I said I’m on the see food diet.
(Stress will kill me first.)
I write bad poems,
And this is one.
I hope that reading it was fun.
(You’re not getting a refund.)
It’s Wonderful!
We are living in a doomed age.
Marketing and sales rule the day.
That would be fine, except
They’re mostly idiots.
To be fair, some are not.
They know they’re lying.
The rest truly believe their press.
The press that they wrote.
If everything worked as well
As sales and marketing said,
We would all be working
Three-day weeks. At most.
Unfortunately, none of it really works.
Some of it doesn’t work at all.
It’s sad, really.
So, the next time your manager
Presents you with the solution to all,
Just remember, they believe it.
So, be gentle when you burst the bubble.