Pets

Flower

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Editor’s Note: This was written during a series of puppy health crises in April, earlier this year. I almost deleted it when Flower rallied at that point, but sadly, I knew someday, I would need it. She crossed the bridge on August 13, 2014. 

A Rose had many children.
Four girls and a boy.
But she only had one Flower,
Who was her pride and joy.

Fifteen years later,
Her Flower is feeling old.
It’s finally changing from Winter,
But it’s still a little cold.

The air is filled with pollen,
All the birds begin to sing.
A sad thing to discover,
Sometimes Flowers die in Spring.

Freedom

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Guest post from @PsychoPupRocky

Racing around on Mom’s new floors.
It’s faster since there are no doors.

The dining room was out of bounds,
But now it’s part of our rounds.

I’m trying to hit a new max speed,
Since Katie’s always in the lead.

After days just sitting in my crate,
Freedom really does feel great.

Katie chasing Murphy and me,
Just be careful not to step in pee.

Early

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

The definition of “early” should be
A picture of a sleeping dog,
With one eye opened (barely),
Looking up as you get out of bed,
And thinking “You’re kidding, right?”

I hate early morning meetings.
I really hate those early meetings
That I fight rush-hour traffic to attend,
Only to find they aren’t actually happening.

People would be violently punished,
But I’m too tired to move.
I think they know this, otherwise,
The meeting would have happened.

Dog Poetry

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

What if my dog were a poet?
That would explain the rhythmic barks.
The ones that last all day,
The ones that last throughout the dark.

I think he may be a singer,
And he’s in a protest mood.
“Let me out of my crate!”
“Bring me more food!”

Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark.
Woof, Woof, Woof, Woof.
Hooooowwwwlll.
Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.

Not much rhymes with “woof.”

If my dog were a singer,
I could be very rich.
I just have to translate to English,
And remember he can say “bitch”.

Rocky Relationship

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

I thought that you were sexy,
Thought we might go to bed.
Then, when I turned around,
You had a Chihuahua on your head.

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I still thought that you were pretty,
You’re as pretty as could be.
I wonder if our insurance covers
A Chihuahua-ectomy.

You could have been a pirate,
Your parrot by your side.
Instead, you have a puppy,
Who always likes to hide.

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Rocky’s such a cute little doggie.
He’s really cute as heck.
I’m glad he’s a Chihuahua,
Since a Cocker would break your neck.

I hope this isn’t forward,
I hope I don’t sound crass.
Your hair smells like Head & Shoulders,
But your shoulders smell like ass.

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Chihuahua Blues

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Hey, why is my shoe in the living room?
It was in the bedroom just a minute past.
I can’t limp to work in just one shoe.
So, I’m glad I found it at last.

I don’t know,
I didn’t take it.
I never saw it,
I can’t fake it.
It just appeared next to me.

This pen has traveled a long way.
It’s home is on the kitchen table,
And now it’s on the office floor.
It crossed the house. How was it able?

I don’t know,
I didn’t take it.
I never saw it,
I can’t fake it.
It just appeared next to me.

Why is my bra is buried in the back yard?
A lonely strap is peeking from the dirt.
It’s tragic that I didn’t know it was dead.
I didn’t even think it was hurt.

I don’t know,
I didn’t take it.
I never saw it,
I can’t fake it.
It just appeared next to me.

I had another verse for this song.
Scratched out on a paper scrap.
It was really funny, too.
Not like the rest of this crap.

I don’t know,
I didn’t take it.
I never saw it,
I can’t fake it.
I am not chewing on it.
No, not I.

I blame the Shih-Tzu.

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

All the dogs go out.
Almost.
One stayed behind.

Ripley.

Some dogs are pointers.
Some are retrievers.
Ripley is a napper.

Mom leads all the dogs out.
Well, the dogs lead Mom out.
Nails on tile clicking.

Dad struggles to awaken.
He’s alone for a moment.
Or is he?

Ripley.

There’s a napper.
He’s still in his crate.
Door’s wide open.

He is not coming out.
Not voluntarily.
Eight AM is much too early.

Ripley looks at Dad.
Ripley is thinking,
“This isn’t the dog you’re looking for.”

Dad starts towards the crate.
“You can go about your business.”
Dad thinks for a minute.

Dad hesitates, confused.
“Move along.”
Dad goes for coffee.

Ripley is a Jedi napper.

Walking Blues

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

For Warren and Rocky

I’m so sad and lonely,
I don’t know what to do.
I’m walking ’round in circles,
‘Cause my puppy stole my shoe.

I’m going barefoot now,
It’s almost more than I can handle.
I’ve stubbed my toes all over,
‘Cause a Chihuahua has my sandal.

Up and down I’m fallin’,
It’s the only way I feel.
Up and down all over,
‘Cause I only have one heel.

I’m limpin’ back to Memphis.
I’m so sad and blue.
I’m limpin’ back to Memphis,
‘Cause I only have one shoe.

Wardrobe

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Down the hall,
The Chihuahua flew,
Mom close behind,
Yelling, “Where’s my shoe?”

Out in the yard,
The Cocker licked his paw.
Out came Mom,
Yelling, “Where’s my bra?”

From within a crate,
The Terrier attacks.
Dad has clothes for Church,
Since he has holy slacks.

Editor’s Note: The shoe is still missing. Any information gratefully accepted.

Wondering

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

We have a Cocker Spaniel.
His name is Murphy.
Murphy is chocolate colored,
With blonde tendencies.

Still, Spaniels are intelligent.
They were bred to retrieve.
Hunters would hunt woodcocks,
Cockers would bring them back.

So, Cockers have good eyes,
The ability to find small items,
And a soft mouth to carry it.

(Murphy actually has bad eyes,
And he can’t find much,
But still.)

I don’t have any woodcocks handy.
There aren’t any dead birds in the yard.
Plus, Rocky would get to dead birds first.

So, I thought Murphy could be retrained.
Yet, he refuses to bring me coffee.
Maybe if I get a bird-shaped mug.