NaPoWriMo

National Poetry Writing Month (April)

Quarantine Learning

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

While we are all here on lockdown,
Just sitting at home has lost its thrills.
So, I am working on self-improvement.
I am taking the time to increase my skills.

Last week, I studied to be a mob boss.
I learned to show no mercy.
Now, I have to find my associates.
I just don’t want to move to Jersey.

This week, I learned to be a King.
Assuming it’s like being a Queen.
I will kindly rule my Empire,
I need a crown and some caffeine.

Today, I learned to run a crab boat.
“Captain” has been on my bucket list.
Now, I just need to get a boat.
Then, I have a crew to enlist.

I was learning to be a survivor,
But it didn’t last too long.
It’s just office committee politics,
Where the weak outvote the strong.

Next week, I’ll run a rescue,
Although it may be life or death.
It doesn’t sound too difficult,
I hear you need tigers and some meth.


Questions of the Day

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

The government writes checks to take up the slack,
Why are people so happy to get their own money back?

The government knows where to send everyone’s cash,
So is the census just doing a rehash?

Lord, what a failure this program has been.
Why do we trust these bastards again?

Sixty

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Raise a glass, shed a tear, I’m getting old, the end is near.

Happy Birthday to me.
I’ll just watch some TV.
We’re all still on lockdown.
Happy Birthday to me.

I planned a little birthday trip,
It would’ve been quite fun.
Now, we’re quarantined at home,
The trip has been undone.

Sixty will be a Facetime birthday.
“It’s fun!”, my dear wife said.
I’ll see my brother’s smiling face,
And the top of my Mom’s head.

Happy Birthday to me.
I loathe Twenty-Twenty.
I’m going stir-crazy,
Happy Birthday to me.

Fifty-nine (Last Day)

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

My last day at fifty-nine years old.
Tomorrow’s the big 6-0.
There’s no big celebrations,
Quarantine’s the status quo.

The decade started with joining AARP
At least I didn’t exit in a hearse.
The next one must be better,
I know it can’t get no worse.

Alexa en Español

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

I set Alexa into Spanish mode.
I didn’t know you could.
My friends think it’s crazy.
They don’t know why I would.

I can’t ask her any questions now.
So why did I make the swap?
While I don’t know weather in Alsaka,
It means my wife can’t shop.

Alien Abduction

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

It’s the God’s honest truth.
You can ask my wife, Ruth.
I was abducted.
I flew into space.

I can still barely speak,
And it happened last week.
Up to a spacecraft.
Up in outer space.

I car pooled to my job,
With my dear old friend Rob.
When we saw something
Flash on the roadside.

We both got out to look,
Ended up on a hook,
And a tractor beam
Took us into space.

I felt close to my death,
As I struggled for breath.
I started to pray,
Rob just wet his pants.

The craft was long and wide,
It was shiny inside.
There were aliens
At least three or four.

The boss was a large blob,
Who was poking at Rob.
While a tall female
Kept poking at me.

There was a silver tray,
With bodies on display.
They were the  victims
So, I just played dead.

A woman measured Rob,
Who’s a bit of a slob,
And she handed him 
To one with a knife.

I made myself seem small,
And I’m not really tall.
The boss measured me
And looked very sad.

Said, “He’s eight inches, Bill”
“But I would keep him still.”
Then, I heard Bill say,
“He’s over the side.”

The alien dropped me.
And as I floated free,
I wondered what had
Happened to poor Rob.

I gently floated down.
Finally landed in town.
Then, I didn’t know 
What I should do next.

I went on into work,
But I felt like a jerk.
So I went back home,
And cried in my bed.

So, a lesson hard-won,
To remember, my son.
Don’t always believe 
Everything you see.

While something looks nice,
You must always think twice.
While worms are tasty,
They’re not from the sea.