Nobody loves me,
Everybody hates me,
Guess I’ll go eat worms.
My dogs don’t love me,
Unless I’m bearing treats.
I try to hug and kiss them,
Guess I’ll admit defeats.
I let them out to play.
I feed them two squares a day.
They pee on the floor, it’s OK.
Their hair makes me sneeze more than hay.
Am I bitter?
Not even a bit.
So, they sit by Dad.
I won’t have a snit.
They really love me.
I’m sure of that.
But if I find they don’t,
I’m getting me a cat.
Today you file, if you owe.
Refunds filed long ago.
Tax forms can be quite a bitch,
The IRS thinks that we’re all rich.
We pay for months and months before,
And then today, some pay some more.
For some, it seems a source of mirth,
I just don’t think I got my money’s worth.
Editor’s Note: This is from a non-scientific study, but results are interesting.
Dogs sleep 19 hours a day (or so.)
They’re really not very active at all.
They will show up for all mealtimes,
Or sometimes, just to catch a ball.
So, eighty percent per day asleep,
A vast amount of total time spent,
Yet, when I take a one-hour nap,
That hour will be in the twenty percent.
I will see a mansion on a hill.
I wish my house remained there still.
Some unnamed Yuppie came to town.
He bought my house and tore it down.
I haven’t lived in it for years,
Which doesn’t seem to stop the tears.
It was the place where I grew up.
It sheltered me, my Mom and Dad and pup.
I knew someday it would be gone.
I just didn’t want to play along.
I wanted to be able to just drive by,
And see it standing beneath the sky.
Yesterday, it was an empty lot.
It’s now a place that time forgot.
I will miss my happy (former) home.
Now, I’m feeling even more alone.
I know that everything must die.
I just hoped to see my past survive.
I understand that times will change.
I just thought my past remained the same.
I prefer death.
(What? Too short?)
We should be able to
Earmark our tax dollars.
Pick the programs you need.
Pay for what you believe in.
Pick what you want.
Pay for what sounds sexy.
Defund the wasteful.
(Since Congress won’t.)
I bet NASA and the military
Would get fully funded
(from the fly-over states.)
We like guns and astronauts.
Welfare would get slashed,
Because people in power
Just want to help the poor
With your money,
Not with their own.
We’d have less bridges to nowhere.
We’d have less weird studies.
We might have more security.
We might get out of debt.
Do you know why they passed an amendment
For the government to collect income taxes?
Because only an idiot would give
The government his money voluntarily.