I visited the sick today,
I listened to their pleas.
But now My Lord is testing me,
The valet lost my keys.

I was going to go in peace.
Onward through the fray.
“Who was that saintly woman?”
All the nursing staff would say.

I would have left in peace,
Except for that damn valet.
The bastard lost my friggin’ keys.
So I can’t just drive away.

People started watching,
As I chastised that valet.
It’s hard to appear saintly,
When you’re cussing out Jose.

I want to love my fellow man,
Since I have My Lord to please.
But I’m going to strangle one of them,
If he doesn’t find my keys.