Landlocked

The past few Aprils were fun for me.
When NaPoWriMo came around,
I found myself away at sea.

This year, I’m staying home.
So, I don’t see open seas.
I’m see poop wherever I roam.

I love my dogs, the entire pack.
It just takes them so little time,
To recycle any snack.

So, away at sea, one hand for you,
And another hand for the ship.
Home in the yard, one foot for grass,
And one foot for the shit.

Eulogy to a Squirrel

By Katie, the PBGV Hunter

I found a squirrel,
His name was Fred.
l chewed him
On his little head.

“Drop that squirrel!”,
My Mommy cried.
It’s Squirrel Tartare.
I prefer them fried.

Mom grabbed Fred.
She threw him far.
I heard him hit
My Daddy’s car.

Oops.

I will miss Fred.
He took a lickin’.
Now I know
Squirrels taste like chicken.

Taking Flight

A frazzled Mama Bird said
“I know what would be best.”
Then she smiled at Baby Bird,
And kicked him out the nest.

As he headed towards the ground,
You could almost hear him mutter,
“I’m not sure that I can fly.”
“Right now, I seem to flutter.”

Then, he saw four dogs.
From the corner of his eye.
Baby Bird said in a panic,
“I believe I can fly.”

Questions to the Dog

Verse Number One
Do you want to go out with me?
Just in case you have to pee?
Oh, you already have, I see.
I’ll get the mop and your Mommy.

Verse Number Two
Tell me, what is that vile smell?
Are we entering the Gates of Hell?
Is it that you’re not feeling well?
I’m going out for a breathing spell.

Praise the Lord there’s no verse number three.

A Puppy’s Confession 

I’m sorry, Mom.
I couldn’t see.
Your carpets look like grass to me.

I’m sorry, Mom.
I’m just a boy.
But Mommy’s bra is not a toy.

I’m sorry, Mom.
I shouldn’t snoop.
It’s just it was a tasty poop.

I’m sorry, Dad.
Mom took my ball.
I didn’t know you had a conference call.

I’m sorry, Mom.
You looked comatose.
So, I had to lick you on the nose.

I’m sorry, Mom.
You weren’t awake.
I was calling to my neighbor Jake.

I’m sorry, Mom.
You’re turning blue.
I thought I could jump over you.

I’m sorry, Dad.
For causing lossage.
I thought you had a little Snausage.