My name is Graham.
I am a gnome.
I love to travel
Far from home.
I have been on a ship.
I’ve been in a car.
Sometimes on a plane.
Always near a bar.
I love the islands.
They’re where I’m from.
The warm tropical breeze.
The constant rum.
My next travels?
I don’t know.
I’m always packed.
I’m ready to go.
You have accomplished much to date.
You’ve passed all the exams,
You were never late.
There remains one final test.
It’s been called unfair by some,
But it’s really for the best.
Before you perform your first exam,
One important detail remains.
So your patients don’t scram.
Quickly now! We shall not linger.
We merely check the length and width.
Please present your index finger.
It’s time to write another poem.
It’s another year,
In the same old home.
I need to travel for inspiration.
Just need to avoid the beach,
It causes perspiration.
Under the tree,
I smell pee,
I think it’s me.
In the morning dew,
I smell poo,
I think that’s you.
After terminating a lot of old folks,
By making them move into the office,
It turns out people can work at home.
From sometime in 2020
Awaken to my alarms’s dull roar.
Hear my spouse’s gentle snore.
Sense my dog heading for the door.
Leap from bed before she pees the floor.
It’s not the weekend any more.
I am watching my son.
He is on YouTube.
He is not playing sports.
He is not at band camp.
In these modern times,
Many parents watch their sons
On YouTube or TikTok.
Most are appalled.
I am rather proud.
It is an older video.
It is from last year.
He is preaching.
He is a professor,
Not a preacher,
But professors
Just lecture.
So, he is lecturing.
However, it is in Chapel.
That is pretty much
Preaching.
My son is at his job,
Talking about Jesus.
I mention Jesus at work,
But in a different context.
How did a lowly sinner
Such as I
Produced a preacher?
(Even part-time.)
I’m sure his Mom
Takes all the credit.
That’s how it works.
Athletes say, “Hi Mom!”
Preachers talk about
The Father and the Son.
I guess I got half-credit
In the divorce.
Go away.
Sea shanties are always about the sea. This is, of course, unfair. There are plenty of worthy subjects for sea shanties, and plenty of other occupations (say, cooking or gossip) where having a way to keep a group in rhythm would be helpful.
To the tune of Drunken Sailor
What do you do with a Wife Italian?
What do you do with a Wife Italian?
What do you do with a Wife Italian,
Sometime late mid-morning?
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Don’t wake her up or she might cut you!
Don’t wake her up or she might cut you!
Don’t wake her up or she might cut you,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Wake up the dogs, and let them wake her!
Wake up the dogs, and let them wake her!
Wake up the dogs, and let them wake her,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning?
Quiet in the house, let’s watch her stories!
Quiet in the house, let’s watch her stories!
Quiet in the house, let’s watch her stories,
Sometime late mid-morning?
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Time for the news, let’s call her sisters!
Time for the news, let’s call her sisters!
Time for the news, let’s call her sisters,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Read another book by Nora Roberts!
Read another book by Nora Roberts!
Read another book by Nora Roberts,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Visit Amazon, and buy her trinkets!
Visit Amazon, and buy her trinkets!
Visit Amazon, and buy her trinkets,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Feed her an Eggplant Parmigiana!
Feed her an Eggplant Parmigiana!
Feed her an Eggplant Parmigiana,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Douse her with water and watch her melting!
Douse her with water and watch her melting!
Douse her with water and watch her melting,
Sometime late mid-morning!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Way, hey, it needs more garlic!
Oy vey, it needs more garlic,
Sometime late mid-morning!
What do you do with a Wife Italian?
What do you do with a Wife Italian?
What do you do with a Wife Italian,
Sometime late mid-morning?
Long difficult month.
Poetry will help you heal.
Peace until next year.
I’m not sure what goes here today.
I don’t know what I want to say.
So, I sit and watch the clock.
Trying to cure my writer’s block.
I could attempt some more haiku.
There should be something more to do.
This should be a meaningful account,
Not just a specific syllable count.
So, I will sit and watch the screen.
My imagination has been wiped clean.
Eventually, a concept will arrive.
As disco taught, I will survive.