Roadtrip

Are we there yet?


I just so love being in the car.
Houston now seems very far.
We’ve been there other times before.
Each time it’s south-er even more.
I really wish you’d let me drive.
I can’t deal with all this right-lane jive.
My eyelids are about to drop.
I think I need a Buc-ee’s stop.
The GPS says two hours to go.
That I didn’t need to know.

Are we there yet?

Landlocked

I sat on our patio this afternoon.
I can see our neighbor’s fence.
I watch my dogs sitting in the grass.
Sigh.

I cannot see any waves.
There aren’t islands far away.
I haven’t seen a seagull, ever.
Sigh.

I think I need a cruise.

Adventure Escaped

We are going to get an RV.
It is time to hit the open road.
We will go wherever we wanted.
We will be Grandparent Ninjas,
Swooping in to visit and vanishing.

Off to discover America on the open road.
We would have no schedule to meet.
Sleep wherever we wanted to sleep.
Stay as long as we liked.
Vanish with the wind.

We learned some of the lingo.
I signed up for all the emails.
We watched all the RV programs.
We yelled at all the families
Who obviously picked the wrong unit.

I started a blog because I was serious.
I began mapping our planned journeys.
We would retrace some of the long roads
We had previously traveled by car.
This would be so much less stressful.

Finally we started looking at RVs.
I wanted a Class A like Willie’s bus,
Just with less smoke.
My wife wanted a travel trailer.
She didn’t want to be a bus driver.

Some RVs seemed a wee bit small,
Especially for larger people.
Then, my wife reclined on an RV bed,
With her relatively bad back.
She said, “Where will you sleep?”

We both considered driving with forty feet
Of metal following behind on every turn.
We’d both backed into things in cars.
I wondered how to determine bridge ratings
Before we plunged into a raging river.

Soon we realized it was convenient to
Sleep wherever you wanted to sleep.
Stay as long as you liked.
Have coffee and breakfast in the morning.

We will save a lot of money not getting a RV.
This savings will help cushion the sadness.
Much of the savings will end up going to
Our friends at Hampton Inns worldwide.
We’d drive beds with us but they have them already.

Since we don’t have to drive our beds around,
The rest of the RV savings fund goes to
Our friends at Southwest Airlines.
They go pretty much where we would have driven,
And they actually go faster than my wife.

I’m sad we are not getting an RV.
On the other hand, I can afford the groceries
My wife can fit inside a car, even a rental.
I’m not sure how much of Carfagna’s
She could have fit inside a toy hauler.

Land Cruise

Ships are heading back to Europe.
We try to go along for the ride,
With the blue ocean outside.
Transatlantic cruises.
Big fun for everyone.

Sunday, we drove down to Ferris.
It’s a pleasant little drive,
Heading down I-45.
Dairy Queens and Mexican food.
Big fun for everyone.

It’s not exactly a cruise.
It was a jaunt, so to speak.
We weren’t gone a week,
We were home to feed the dogs.
Still, big fun.

Well, miniature big fun.
I need some Vitamin Sea.

The Cedarville Line

Southbound on the Cedarville Line,
My Texas home is on my mind.
I’ve only got four States to go,
It’s a long, long way from Ohio.

Indianapolis goes flying by,
Someone behind me starts to cry.
I’m not the only one alone,
But at least (at last) I’m heading home.

The Land of Lincoln’s just a blur,
I turn around to look at her.
Her crying stopped a few miles back,
Now, it’s just the clicking of the track.

St Louis and the engines needed fuel.
The dining car refilled the gruel.
I grabbed another cup of joe,
Just a few more hours left to go.

Oklahoma, we just blew right past.
Next is Texas, home at last.
Cross the border to the Lone Star State.
Hurry now, let’s not be late.

Made it home on the Cedarville Line.
In fact, we made it right on time.
Texas underfoot at last.
Northbound before the summer’s passed.

Plano at Rush Hour

He thinks that no-one will complain,
As he exits from the far left lane.

Kill me.
Kill me now.

She is like a pig in clover,
As she slides her three lanes over.

Kill me.
Kill me now.

He thinks he may have seen a cop.
So, let’s have all on Central stop.

Kill me.
Kill me now.

Some of the smartest people alive,
But none of them know how to drive.

Kill me.
Kill me now.

Eastbound 

Sailing back to Europe,
Losing an hour almost every day.
This is what causes the ugky American.
We’re sleep deprived.

Still, I’d rather take two weeks
And be a bit sleep deprived,
Than take ten hours or so,
And be jet-lagged.

On a ship,
You have a cabin.
On a plane,
You have a seat.

Cabins share walls.
These are sometimes thin.
However, seats share armrests,
And these are much thinner.

Ellie’s Blues

Editor’s Note: Sometimes, even a bluesman visits his family. The joys of grandchildren climbing all over you is generally followed by a rare, short-term but hellish disease.

Ellie’s cold is killing me.
Doo-dah, doo-dah.
Snot as far as I can see.
All the doo-dah day.

Gonna run all night (my nose),
Gonna run all day.
I need some antihistamines.
I need to get away.

The kids’ house is a haz-mat site.
Doo-dah, doo-dah.
Boogers running day and night.
All the doo-dah day.

Gonna run all night (my nose)
Gonna run all day.
I’m back home in Dallas now.
With a blocked airway.