Relationships

The Texas Volunteers

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Hats off to the Texas Volunteers!
They’ve been marching on for many years.
They rose up when they heard the call,
They came together, one and all.

Patrolling someone’s vast estate
A mission that became their fate.
Keeping watch from some tall tower,
Often drenched by a sudden shower.

There was never a bet they couldn’t make.
There was never a chance they wouldn’t take.
They often find themselves at disadvantage,
Yet I’ve become their collateral damage.

I fight with the Texas Volunteers,
With Texas sand between their ears.
They take every job that they can see,
But then they always stop to ask “Why me?”

 

Divorce

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

A home is a house full of love.
Where two hearts become one.
Togetherness building strength.

A home is a house full of love.
Where happy families grow.
Loving memories are built.

A home is a house full of love.
So, what we have now is a house.
I’m so out of here.

Favorites

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

While at Applebee’s one night,
I found someone’s large iPhone.
I don’t see any names or labels,
However will I get it home?

I guess I’ll just dial the Favorites,
Since iPhones don’t speed dial.
One of them will recognize this phone.
They’re at the top of the pile.

“PsychoPuppy”, must be a college friend.
First on the list, her very best bet.
“Thank you for calling Rutherford Veterinary Hospital.”
That is not what I expected.
Apparently, this person has a sickly pet.

“My One True Love”, this is the one!
Second one down, their bond must be strong!
“Thank you for calling Norwegian Cruise Lines.”
Cruising is a true love?
I wonder if the sickly pet goes along?

Next one just says “Mary”, so there is hope.
Third one on the list, maybe family at last?
“Hi! This is Mary. I can’t come to the phone.”
Well, at least it’s a person.
I’m not leaving a message, that time is past.

Next one says “Mary”, too. Duplicates?
One more try, I hope it’s a good choice.
“Hi! This is Mary. I can’t come to the phone.”
I’m having deja vu.
Same message, different voice.

I’m calling and nobody’s home.
This is really annoying.
I’m thinking this caller will die all alone.

We’re at “ADC”, so maybe her company?
Let’s continue. We’ll get lucky next.
“Thank you for calling the Animal Diagnostic Clinic.”
Does this phone belong to a veterinarian?
What is wrong with this person’s pets?

The next is just marked “Ragle”.
I’ll just dial it really quick.
“Thank you for calling Dallas Family Doctors.”
People doctors?
So, it’s not just the pets that are sick.

One more! I had to scroll down.
I thought I was free.
“Virginia – why are you calling me? I’m in the rest room.”
Someone answered! Who is it?
It’s just marked “Bite Me.”

 

My True Love

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

She’s warm and brown
She’s the one I chose.
In evening dress,
Or casual clothes.

She helps me elevate my mood.
She gives me her energy.
I want her with me always.
Ah. my beloved coffee.

Life, Simplified

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

I could just close all my accounts.
Drop all my online presences.
Remove all aspects of me.

There’s a better way.
Here’s how to find your real friends.
They’re connected online, but
They’re connected offline, as well.

Let’s find the people that actually know you.
The ones that know you don’t fit a mold.
Not all your beliefs align with theirs,
But that’s OK with them.

You have a lot of Facebook friends.
Everybody does.
They make a lot of noise.
Who needs that much volume?

Week One of the cleanse.
Change your Facebook photo to
Ted Cruz for President!
See if your friends list diminishes.

Week Two of the cleanse.
New Facebook photo is now
Hillary in 2016! 
Other friends will drop away.

Two weeks into the process,
You’re losing friends left and right.
(See what I did there?)

Week Three of the cleanse.
Facebook photo becomes
Gay Rights For Everyone!
That will make people wonder.

Week Four of the cleanse.
Facebook photo is Jesus.
Jesus for President 2016!
(Actually, He’s ineligible to run,
Unless He can find a Hawaiian birth certificate.)

Now, see how many “friends”
You have left online.
Maybe you didn’t need that
Many friends after all.

Now, ask your real friends
What they thought about the month.
Some will find it hilarious.
Others will just say you’re insane.

Your real friends are any of them
That didn’t even notice.

Feel better?

Tragedy

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Millions sleep with our C-PAPs,
To avoid a slow death by snore.
This is not nearly as tragic,
As fresh doggie poop on your floor.

Our families came through the Depression,
When life could seem very hard.
This is not nearly as tragic,
As a lizard coming in from the yard.

Your ancestors were at Vesuvius,
Some perished, covered in soot.
This is not nearly as tragic,
As fresh doggie pee on your foot.

Today, we had some crises.
Let’s all take a deep breath.
Pee, lizards and poop won’t kill you,
Stop crying and plotting their death.

Hidden Messages

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Heard about a poet.
English chap, I’m told.
Left messages in poems.
Protected in simple code.

Many failed to find them.
Years went by until he passed.

Why no one ever saw them.
I never thought to ask.
First, I thought “Too clever”.
Everyone missed the clues.

Perhaps, nobody listened.
Only husbands have the blues.
I’m sure someday they’ll find him.
Somewhere in the fields.
Only time will tell, I guess.
Never drop your shields.
Even when you think it’s safe,
Don’t ever be too sure.

Many men have gone before.
Ever thinking they’re secure.

Love @ 31,000 Feet

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Editor’s Note: I’m going to start republishing some (very) old works by BJE, as I find them – just so they’re all collected in one place. This is from 1997, so that’s pretty old. Seriously, who remembers Palm Pilots?

Southbound from Chicago
With my baby by my side
She don’t know that she’s my baby
I should tell her – haven’t tried

Flying First while wrapped in love
Is a magical place to be
Free drinks, cashews and pretzels
Yet she still won’t notice me.

We haven’t really spoken
Since the preboard at O’Hare
She’s just sittin’ reading magazines
While pretending not to care.

At last my angel turns to speak
In her heavenly tone of voice…
She asked ‘Is that a Pilot?’
I stammered, ‘But, of course.’

Being a geek finally worked!
Since she has one too, it seems.
Alas, the moment’s already passed
And she’s back to magazines.

Gently touching down in Dallas
will finally end our lover’s game.
Should have nicked her boarding pass
So at least I’d know her name.

Another broken-hearted Friday night
Hailing airport taxis in the rain.
I’ve lost my faith in AAdvantage Gold
Next time, I’ll take the train!

ORD-DFW 16 May 1997 AA 2359 – What was her name, anyway?

Diaspora

~ kjgilhooly ~ Leave a comment

Thousands of raw acres
of prime South Texas land.
Mesquite, minimal water,
Fossils, fences and sand.

It’s a place to raise cattle,
With horsepower and sweat.
You can become wealthy,
It’s just not how to bet.

From the thousands of acres
Generations sliced off their share.
One ranch became ranches,
But nobody seemed to care.

The pastures were a man’s world,
There were no girls allowed.
There were many disappointments,
Some best not said out loud.

When I first visited the ranch,
It stretched as far as I could see.
Someone said, “That’s nothin’, son”.
“This used to reach to Uvalde.”

One by one, they moved to town,
It’s where they all belonged.
This could have been the King Ranch,
If they could have got along.